27 May 2017

Let It Be

In what feels like another lifetime, but was really just a year and a half ago, I was driving to Hinson Lake 24 Hour. I had a few CDs I had with me, and one of them was a Beatles anthology. Suddenly, when "Let It Be" came on, I began to bawl. Bawl out of control. When the song ended, I hit the back button. And again. I listened to it on repeat for the rest of the drive.

I got to the race and felt shattered, and sat in my car before moving. What was I doing with my life? How could I go on, completely overcome with misery and sadness? How could I spend my days feeling awful and put down and undervalued? How could I do this?

Running loops with K, I confided in her that something was really wrong, very off. She told me that had happened to her too, but then "she divorced him." (Gotta love her sense of humor!) I thought about what I needed to do, really knew what that was...and wondered if I had the courage to do that, or how I was going to do that.

I ran some of the race, but my heart was not in it.

And two months later, I did what I needed to do: gave notice to a job that was no longer serving me, and plunged into the trip of a lifetime, four months in India.

And when this song came on Google Play again today, of course I had a flashback, and feel so happy with where I am today.

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