01 February 2008

there is no mr. cherie

i am on the mailing list for cabot cheese.

this is the point in the blog in which the vegans turn away, disgusted, and others think, "weird that she's on the mailing list for cabot cheese." i didn't mean to be, but am on it, and every so often, i get invited to cabot cheese events. i got invited to one at the end of the month at the marriott in brooklyn. free cheese, free brooklyn brewery (though i don't like beer; i'll just eat extra cheese), why not? so i'm rsvp'ing, and say, "there will be three of us."

the guy on the phone--who sounds as if he lives somewhere in the middle of the country says something about "your husband, mr. cherie." he uses my last name, but uses it as if it were not my own but some copy i adopted from my "husband" so i could show everyone that i'm property of someone else. wtf is up with women STILL doing that?!?! we are no longer property; we are our own people. and um, hate to break it to ya, but 50% of marriages end in divorce. anyway, i like my last name. i wish it didn't start with the letter Y (this means i'm one of the last people to leave the nyc marathon b/c my baggage truck is always the last) but it's unique and it's part of me.

i tried to nicely tell him, "you shouldn't assume that everyone takes their husband's name to demonstrate that they are property. i am not."

also, he was assuming that i was bringing my husband--what if it was my girlfriend? or my sister? or my best friend? i guess the crowd at cheese events would tend to be families, but have an open mind, people!

i have no cheese right now, so instead, i'll think about how rad my freedom is.


yr sister said...

It really scares me how many women change their name. Many actually want to keep their name, but change it because of parental/fiance pressure. I'm definitely keeping my last name, but I'm debating hyphenating. I don't want to do it unless Brian does it too (and I don't think he wants to). We both have friends who only call us by our last names. I have friends who have told me they will be very upset if I got married and changed my name.

I just don't understand the motivation to say, "I'm not the person I used to be. I'm MARRIED now and I need to have the same last name as my husband."

(Oh and I suggested to Brian that we change our last name, but he did not like the combination, but I thought it was fun).

V said...

i agree. i like the idea of both people marrying hyphenating their names, but if brian is not down, i don't think you should. but, if he was, that would be cool: although you have been together for i-don't-know-how-long, if both of you hyphenated your names it would be indicative of you both starting on this new chapter of your lives together....

but then the question becomes: who's name gets the first spot?