28 October 2015

Sucky Breathing for 50 Miles: The Dick Collins 50 Miler

So this race report is a long time in coming...mainly because I've felt the repercussions of running 50 miles when I shouldn't have. This is a race I should have DNF'd. But oh well, I didn't, I ran, I struggled, and I got some pretty cool schwag. 

The Dick Collins Firetrails 50 Miler is a great race. The course is tough but gorgeous - lots of climbing, lots of descending, great views. The aid stations are top notch, there's food at the finish, the schwag is great, and it's the day before San Francisco Decom so I get to have my Burning Man fix the next day. It works out. 

A week and a half before my race, I came down with the flu. I struggled to work, and ended up taking a bunch of sick day and cuddling in bed with my cats. I should've taken a sick day when I flew across the country. ("Are you sure it's a good idea to fly when you feel like that?" "I'd just be in bed. On the plane, I'll just be sitting in a chair sleeping and reading." UM NOT THAT EASY.)

Though my flu had ended, I was still not 100% at the starting line. And around 10, 12 miles into it, I knew that my race was going to be a suffer-fest.

Every time there was an uphill, I had to walk. And not just walk, but walk slow. Walk with breaks to bend over and gasp for air.

The weird thing was, I was wheezing. As a cough-variant asthmatic, I'm not used to wheezing. It sucks. It sucks a lot.

So basically, I had to slow down a ton. I had to walk every hill, slowly, taking breaks. I took my inhaler 10-12 times. Nothing happened. I felt horrendous.

I finished. Somehow. It sucked. It wasn't even like my legs hurt after, because my lungs slowed me down and all I could think about was I CANNOT FREAKING BREATHE.

After I finished, I went to the medic. She listened to my lungs. "You're wheezing. And your heart is beating fast." I mentioned the 10-12 puffs of albuterol; she clarified that was why.

She recommended a hospital visit that night if things didn't improve; they didn't improve, but I was up at my friend's in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. Things got worse and worse, and it's been a rollercoaster of a month of doctor visits, chest x-rays, medication, rest, and not breathing. Kind of sucked, but I'm pretty sure it's going to get better. How can it not?

17 October 2015

Burning Man

Burning Man 2015 was love and friendship and community and good energy and running and a little chaos and fun and dust and cold and mess and everything in between.


wayne finishes building something else. badass boy. i love him

means so much

meaning in mirrors

jose is ready for the beer mile :)

da man

this "ride" made me ill the rest of the day

utah and me

yos, bernie, mike, and me. freaking cold and dusty day

fllaming lotus girls always impress

what i called the creepy temple

Our camp this year had amazing vibes (waaaaaay better than last year, when I left the playa in tears) and totally inclusive and helpful. It was great.

The ultra was great fun, even if we had a few duststorms during the later part of the race. Amazing.

The art was better than last year, some truly spectacular pieces.

I realized some major life changes that needed to happen.
i was marrying jim and leanne here

Wayne and I grew closer, as we always do on the playa.
me and wayne, in the midst of a dusty day

I made some great friends.
our camp....well, some of us.

I danced.

I laughed.

I lived. 

I was able to just be.
it's all abt fire

15 October 2015

I Cannot

I am trying to write an article, or rather, I have three different freelance articles to write. But I cannot write them because Ana is dead.

Ana was an amazing Burner, a wonderful woman. We met via the Burner Community, and I wouldn't call her a close friend, but she was an awesome person. And now she is not here.

They say the driver was on drugs. She was hit biking to work yesterday by a giant truck. We talked about biking, and how she was scared to bike but loved it. I agreed. I told her about my pretty safe commute (in bike lanes and parks) and she said she got scare biking sometimes. 

I can't believe she is gone. The article doesn't mention she was full of life, energy, and love; that she was a single mother; that she contributed at Burning Man; that she was so much. How is she gone? How? How?

I can't believe this loss. I am stunned. 

Will go tomorrow to the wake, but there have been too many losses this year.