I Cannot

I am trying to write an article, or rather, I have three different freelance articles to write. But I cannot write them because Ana is dead.

Ana was an amazing Burner, a wonderful woman. We met via the Burner Community, and I wouldn't call her a close friend, but she was an awesome person. And now she is not here.

They say the driver was on drugs. She was hit biking to work yesterday by a giant truck. We talked about biking, and how she was scared to bike but loved it. I agreed. I told her about my pretty safe commute (in bike lanes and parks) and she said she got scare biking sometimes. 

I can't believe she is gone. The article doesn't mention she was full of life, energy, and love; that she was a single mother; that she contributed at Burning Man; that she was so much. How is she gone? How? How?

I can't believe this loss. I am stunned. 

Will go tomorrow to the wake, but there have been too many losses this year. 

The Song I Listened to on Repeat for Two Plane Rides Today...

I promised myself
I promised I'd wait for you

The midnight hour
I know you'll shine on through
I promised myself
I promised the world to you
I gave you flowers
You made my dreams come true
How many of us out there
Feel the need to run and look for shelter

I promised myself
That I'd say a prayer for you
A brand new tomorrow
Where all you wish comes true
I promised myself
(I promised, I Promised)
That I'd make it up to you
My sister and brother
Know I'm in love with you
(Aaaaaaa)

How many of us out there
Feel the pain of losing what was once there
God I know what people say about her
No mistake, who can live without love
I promised myself
(Aaaaaaa)
(I promised, I promised)

In the midnight hour I will wait for you
(For you)
I will wait for you
(I will wait, yeah)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)
In the midnight hour I will wait for you
(Uuuuu)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)

I promised myself
(I promised)
I promised I'd wait for you
(I promised I do, I do)
The midnight hour
(I promised, I promised)
I know you'll shine on through
(I know you'll shine on through)
I promised myself
(I promised, I promised)
I promised the world to you
(I promised the world to you)
I gave you flowers
(Flowers, flowers)
You made my dreams come true
(You made my dreams come true)

the art of losing isn't hard to master

things that have been last in the past few days:

• my sister's cat. eden's been missing since fri! they saw her once but she ran away.
  
• my really nice pendant (one of two really nice pieces of jewelry i own); i suspect luna swatted it somewhere around my apartment, but am also checking her poop just in case she ate it. yuck.
• my bracelet that was handmade that i bought from a native amazonian