As I write this, I’m sitting under a mosquito net with a sunburn on my back. I’m sharing my beach hut with countless spiders, and I have another extremely long day tomorrow (7-9:15: Mantra, meditation, asana; 9:15-11: Yoga sutras over breakfast; 11-1: Anatomy and adjustments, 1-3: Break to eat lunch and study for tomorrow’s homework, 3-4:15 Vinyassa Yoga; 4:15-7: Break to study more and pick up laundry; 7-8:30 Restorative yoga; 8:30-10 p.m. Dinner and yoga discussion on yama and niyama) -
BUT I AM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY.
So many of us get stuck. We think routines and unhappiness are normal. We think forgetting our dreams is the norm. We think about placing the Fresh Direct order, how to carefully chop organic cilantro, about filling my bike tires with air before bike commuting to a job that undervalues us, about picking up groceries, about paying the bills on top and Burning Man once a year and suffering the rest of the year.
Really, life shouldn’t be like that.
I got super comfortable in my content routines: ultrarunning, the gym, amazing yoga, reading library books, working at home, my CSA, my cats, and of course, Wayne.
But what about where I wasn’t content? Where I wasn’t comfortable? Why was I putting up with that?
I’m so eternally grateful that I left a job that didn’t value me or develop me or invest in me. I was heartbroken at leaving because I believed in it, and in me, but eventually, like any relationship, one person can’t do all the work. One person had to leave.
It took me a while to get the groove of my trip - but now I’m here. And I’m at the best part.
I want to teach yoga. I love learning about yoga all day. I love geeking out and discussing the yoga sutras with other yoga geeks. I love trying to perfect my asanas. I love waking up on the beach, in a culture where creativity and dreams and art and culture are encouraged. I love being valued. I love being intrigued. I love being stretched, being pushed, being opened, and experiencing the adventures.
It was far too long where I wasn’t having intellectual discussions, I wasn’t being challenged, I wasn’t being let to grow.
If you’re unhappy and holding back because of fear, please don’t. I was so scared for so long.
My life is so very different now. It’s full of adventure, exciting, fun, and yogalove. I’m learning about myself, yoga, and the world. I forgot how amazing it feels to be happy.
I thought being miserable was the norm.
Don’t settle. There’s more to life than this.