30 May 2016

Welcome Back Home...

It's been hard to be back. Way harder than I imagined. But also, really great.

I arrived back to rain, damp, grey weather. Not the lovely spring I was anticipating. The chaos. The subway. The grey and black clothes. The months of cleaning my boyfriend hadn't done while I was gone. The food I needed to eat. All the amazing people I needed to see.

But it was hard. 

I've been on my own. Food has been Indian. I've been with limited choices on what to wear, so I pull out of my backpack whatever is clean. I am open to conversations. Strangers approached me, eager to chat; I chat back. I'm so distanced from my friends and family. The time zone difference makes it difficult to chat. 

And then I'm back home. Everyone is here. It's so much right away. I can't keep up. The emails. The job applications. The networking. The seeing old friends. Cooking everything in my CSA. Studying yoga. Doctor's appointments. Everything. Just...so....overwhelming.

You get used to it. India is starting to fade away. I'm starting to figure things out - even if they are a wee bit confusing.

It will work out. One day at a time. As I teach yoga, study yoga, practice yoga; freelance write; try to find at least one stable job - it will all work out, but for now, it's a confusing but kinda fun mess.

A mess where you sometimes have ice cream for lunch!

04 May 2016

be here now

The key instruction is to stay in the present. Don’t get caught up in hopes of what you’ll achieve and how good your situation will be some day in the future. What you do right now is what matters.

- Pema Chodron