The Song I'm Dancing to During Re-Entry...

On Days Like Today, ESCAPE

To dance to, today

When the world is a mess of confusion of love and life and everything, put on a song you love and sing it and dance to it.

Today, that song is this....

Can't stop playing this song on repeat....

The lyrics don't move me heaps, but I just feel like I'm transported to a dance floor under blazing sun or blinking lights, pulling my energy up and out and sharing with everyone around me.

Music in my ears...

It was the last night I was in Belize. I was getting ready in my cabana, glitter, eyeliner, miniskirt, sandals. I was getting ready for a night I didn't know that I would meet an asthmatic who was friends with a billionaire, and I could request this song all night long because of the billionaire. 

And then there was the night before the Dances with Dirt 50 Miler. Alone in my hotel room, sad and thinking of my Papa, who I had last seen a year before, I listened to this song to motivate me to run when I just wanted to hold someone who had died.

And tonight, getting ready for the Rio del Lago 100 Miler, I listen to this.

Songs I Sang During the Bear Mountain 50 Miler

Perhaps I'm not a normal person...I sing at the top of my lungs when alone in the woods. Or sometimes on the NYC streets. I had such a blast meeting rad people at the Bear Mountain 50 Miler on Saturday. But when I was alone, here are a few of the songs that came out.

KRS-ONE - How Bad Do You Want It?

Matt and Kim - Lessons Learned


Regina Spektor - Fidelity

Don Omar - Danza Kudero


Kesha - We R Who We R


Hot Chip - I Feel Better

(my favourite video! watch it and laugh...)


Yes, I know my taste in music ranges widely, but I found great comfort and fun, blasting down the trails at Bear Mountain, singing these songs. I had so much fun, it was so tough and challenging - yes, I'll be back next year.

Can't Stop Listening To It...

This is the kind of song that takes over you. The kind of song where you suddenly realize something, and you walk out into a rainstorm in a forest, wearing a dress, a full face of makeup, and can't tell if it's raindrops or teardrops. It's the kind of song where someone comes into the forest to kiss you, and again, is it sweat or tears or rain? And it's the kind of song where you feel so mellow, floating along, down a river, where nothing could possibly be wrong, even when everything really is.

The Latest Song I'm Obsessed With

She said 'How did we get ourselves so lost?'
And I said 'I don't know,
But we will not be leaving tonight.
When you hold me I, I feel better'

I only want one night, together in our arms
This is the longest night, we're meeting arms to arms

Nothing is wasted and life is worth living
Heaven is nowhere, just look to the stars
There is a day that is yours for embracing
Everything's nothing, and nothing is ours

Nothing is wasted and life is worth living
(I only want one night)
Heaven is nowhere, just look to the stars
There is a day that is yours for embracing
(This is the longest night)
Everything's nothing, and nothing is ours

And maybe if we'd never come this way
Then we would live and prosper
But I doubt it
We are a violent race
And we deserve what we get
When you hold me, when you hold me 

Ode to @Superchunkband

I've loved Superchunk as far back as I can remember; like much music I adored/adore, I possibly learned about it from the long-defunct Plume zine, written by the fantastic, friendly and knowledgeable Shelia Burgel (who gave me hope that I would not be stuck in horrid middle-class whitebread suburbia where football players ruled, green lawns gave you cancer but looked nice, and I would always be "the freak").

I first saw them at Lollapalooza in high school. Awed by how hard Laura was rocking, how amazing Mac's voice was, I jumped along in the middle of the moshpit. (It was the nineties, okay?) I've seen them several times throughout the years, but last time I saw them at the Music Hall of Williamsburg in September, I've never felt happier at a concert. They played most of my favourite songs. I've had my heart-broken to songs of theirs, memories associated with so many songs. I've never been to Detroit, but "Detroit Has a Skyline Too" was on a mixtape made for me - so of course there's meaning. (Seriously, mixtapes had so much meaning. I do miss the zine/mixtape days.)

And best of all, a line of theirs has become one of my running mantras:
Do not pass me - just to slow down - I can move right through you.


Side note: If anyone knows how to get tickets for the sold-out Radio City Music Hall show, let me know!

A Vegetarian Duck Sauce (you know, for dancing)

I'd heard it before.

I'd danced to it at clubs, at Burning Man, at Burner parties, with glitter flung at me, hands tossed in the air, eyes closed, being twirled around. Oh, I always loved it.

But it was different at Heike.

At Hostel Heike, it was probably Ari that put it on. He had the best playlists. He had on Air and Metric and Regina Spektor and The Knife and everything amazing. And this came on.

This is the hostel you dream of. Okay, the kitchen was chaos, it was noisy, it was hard to get a quiet Skype conversation. Your mother only heard the noise, the dancing, asked you, "What really goes on at these hostels?"

Mom, you have no idea. 

Making amazing food and sharing it. Dancing with Rasta dogs. Singing Feliz Navidad. Sharing wine. Abuelo rum, anyone? And music. And hugs. Total strangers hugging you when you cry. Kinda like Burning Man, but in a foreign country, with no costumes, and grubby outfits. Or bikinis.

Heike was the hostel where, yeah, it's a beach town, but chances are, even on a sunny day, you could find some rad people just chilling, studying Spanish, reading, talking, sharing food, fun. I loved it.

And this song came on...

And I went nuts....

And it was normal.

It was Heike.

And this is my love letter to Heike, and to this song.

The Song I Listened to on Repeat for Two Plane Rides Today...

I promised myself
I promised I'd wait for you

The midnight hour
I know you'll shine on through
I promised myself
I promised the world to you
I gave you flowers
You made my dreams come true
How many of us out there
Feel the need to run and look for shelter

I promised myself
That I'd say a prayer for you
A brand new tomorrow
Where all you wish comes true
I promised myself
(I promised, I Promised)
That I'd make it up to you
My sister and brother
Know I'm in love with you
(Aaaaaaa)

How many of us out there
Feel the pain of losing what was once there
God I know what people say about her
No mistake, who can live without love
I promised myself
(Aaaaaaa)
(I promised, I promised)

In the midnight hour I will wait for you
(For you)
I will wait for you
(I will wait, yeah)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)
In the midnight hour I will wait for you
(Uuuuu)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)
I will wait for you
(I will wait for you)

I promised myself
(I promised)
I promised I'd wait for you
(I promised I do, I do)
The midnight hour
(I promised, I promised)
I know you'll shine on through
(I know you'll shine on through)
I promised myself
(I promised, I promised)
I promised the world to you
(I promised the world to you)
I gave you flowers
(Flowers, flowers)
You made my dreams come true
(You made my dreams come true)

My Favourite Song Down Here in Central America!

Do I need music to run?

People have asked me repeatedly about if I listen to music when I run. "Not usually." They're shocked...I enjoy the thoughts in my head. Running is my practice, my form of meditation.

I am so distracted - at work, I have coworkers who are chatting in informal meetings, conference calls, to each other, so I'll try to block it out by listening to music or will even listen to NPR for background information while working. At home, while cooking, my cat will be meowing, NPR will be playing, and I might be on the phone. I'm always on the go, with too much technology (post to Twitter, catch up on email, what's the latest on Facebook) - so quiet running is one of the best times for me to clear my mind and relax. Music is great to motivate you and keep you going - but my mind is what gets me out there in the first place.

Some people on the ultra list have been talking abt headphones lately and I found these posts particularly poignant:

From Chris Owens:

"I can't believe you ran X miles, I don't even like driving a car that
far.  Do you listen to music while you run?"
"nope"
"what do you think about while you're running?"
"same things I think about when I'm not running"

From John M:

(Things you can hear when NOT wearing headphones)

Owls from several directions as dusk settled in and hunting areas were
claimed for the evening.
Coyotes after a thunder storm in Palo Duro Canyon.
The waterfall whose presence slowly gained volume for forty minutes before
we rounded that last bend in the trail on the Olympic Peninsula.
The wailing of baby (?) cougars impatient for mom to return.
Those last snorts of a wild boar just before I grabbed a limb to swing into
the nearest tree.
Mockingbirds in the tall grass prairies of Oklahoma.
Footsteps padding along behind, so many many miles.
Wing beats of a Bald eagle lifting off just a few feet away.
Wind rising and falling in the bristlecones at Great Basin.
The silence of Death Valley.
A red-tail hawk startling me with obvious delight screeching on a winter
morn as I crossed "his" frosty field--reminding me I was only a visitor.
Soft voices, murmured greetings and encouragement way far dark in the night.
Seals barking mixed with the bells of the bouys as the waves of an incoming
tide rattled rocks along the beach.
The rumbles of thunder outside of Trinidad as thunderstorms chased us off
the trails of the Rockies and back into Kansas.
Frost breaking as I ran through the knee-high grasses of Chip Ross Park,
rustling loud enough I had to stop to see who was coming up behind me.
T'was just me.
Those many frogs in totally joyous disharmony that went to silence as I
left the woods and started along their pond's edge.
The Rufous hummingbirds: one?  Six?  Three?  I heard, but never saw.
A singly curious Winter wren, one note to play was all he had, but one note
was played again and again as he perched on a branch not three feet from
where I had paused on the way down Mary's Peak.

Run gently out there.

the latest song that sends me dancing, twirling, flying, spinning across my apt

dance to this mashup!

this song makes me want to run around in the middle of the dessert in a wedding dress into a kiss

p.s. i know no french. emily sent me this.

what i was doing this afternoon

like back in the days

about a hundred years ago, the second person i loved broke up with me. we had a tearful breakup after fooling around in his parents' bed (i know!), and he said, "it must be. we must end this." i was crying, pleading, doing all those sorts of things you do when your heart is being broken. as we got into his parents' car to drive me home (from NJ to my parents' on LI), he put a smiths tape in the cassette player and said, "we have to listen to the smiths." i wanted him to turn it off, but he refused. it was the most miserable ride of my life home, and i cried the entire way, hating the smiths.

since then, i have never listened to the smiths (no surprise). it was always associated with a painful and teary breakup. recently, at a friend's house, the smiths came onto the ipod during shuffle play. i remembered, yes, the smiths fucking rule! so i got a cd at the library, and am now once again enjoying them. yes, a little depressing at times, but i can finally appreciate the beauty of the songs.

i hear that song...

and it makes me want to cry. it makes me feel like i am in the middle of a field, covered with a thin layer of grass, in the middle of nowhere, and it starts to rain. i am lost and i don't speak the language. i am wearing thin clothing. i crouch down as the rain throttles me. i put my hands around my head, squatting close to the ground. my clothes become drenched and transparent quickly. i begin crying, hard, harder. and the rain becomes louder and i realize there is nothing to do but cry.