Traveling Epiphany

As I stare out the window at the Panama City skyline, at a bird soaring high close to the tall buildings, I realize that I have quiet. Time to think. It's a bit sad, because there are so many things to think about, often painful things to think about. There are unresolved thoughts and ideas. Everything is happening at once. When you realize how many things are happening in the world at one - hammering a nail, someone crying, entering data into a spreadsheet mindlessly, people having sex, a woman having a baby, someone dying, someone breaking a bone, dinner being scorched, a snowstorm, lightning striking a person, a car crash, a nap, a fight, crying - it makes you realize that this world is about way more much than you.

My Trip, In Runs

So it was impossible to keep up with my regular running schedule while backpacking across Central America...especially with a breakup that frequently brought me crying on me knees while running, crazy travel days, amazing beaches, and better things to do...but I was able to get in solid regular running...

I didn’t run as much as I should have. I ran almost daily, but my long runs were few in far between. Excuses included: getting my heart broken so running was difficult; staying in places not conducive to long runs; the beach sounded more fun than running for eight hours; not enough time.

December:

15^th: 1:15:18 (Panama City, hot along the water, decent pace)

16^th: 1:00:28 (Bocas del Toro, legs felt tired, 3x speedbursts)

17^th: 1:34:07 (Bocas del Toro, legs, chafing, thirsty, beach!)

                PM Run: 18:07 (with Chris)

18^th: 47:22 (Bocas del Toro, with Chris, we didn’t have enough time before snorkeling to do more)

19^th: 59:13 (Bocas del Toro, with Jarrett, on beach)

20^th: 1:01:00 (Bocas del Toro)

21^st: 1:01:08 (Bocas del Toro)      

                PM: 1:12:18 (Bocas del Toro, on beach, love it!)

22^nd: 1:00:56 (Bocas del Toro)

                PM: 1:02:28 (Bocas del Toro, fartlek)

23^rd: 1:01:08 (Bocas del Toro, with Rio)

24^th: 1:02:09 (Bocas del Toro)

25^th: 2:07:15 (Bocas del Toro, ran all the way to Bluff!)

27^th: 1:44:19 (Santa Teresa, Costa Rica, on the beach!)

28^th: 1:25:43 (Santa Teresa, hills)

                PM: 51:58 (Santa Teresa, beach sunset, ahhh!)

29^th: 1:44:23 (Santa Teresa, beach with a Tico I met)                               

                PM: 59:55 (sunset barefoot beach running)

31^st: 1:22:17 (Leon, Nicaragua, got lost)

January

1^st:  4:28:30 (Leon, awful chafing, low 90s, sunny)

2^nd: 2:32:14 (Leon)

3^rd: 58:20 (Leon)

5^th: 2:10:47 (Little Corn Island)

7^th: 1:31:09 (Little Corn)

8^th: 1:12:28 (Little Corn, ankle hurts)

9^th: 31:03 (Little Corn, ankle hurts)

10^th, 11^th: Time off for ankle recovery and travel days

12^th: 1:00:23 (Granada, ankle mostly okay)

13^th: 1:01:26 (Granada, slow)

14^th: 1:11:04 (Ometepe, trails, bushwhacking, yay!)

15^th: 22:44 (Ometepe, had to stop because chased by wild dogs)

16^th: 1:01:01 (San Juan del Sur, hills, beach inc barefoot running)

17^th:  1:05:56 (San Juan del Sur, barefoot each running)

19^th: 1:33:48 (Xela, Guatemala)

20^th: Climbed a volcano instead of ran, so hard!

21^st: 1:13:21 (Xela – with Luis, a Guatemalan I met on the street)

22^nd: 1:12:52 (Xela, with Luis again)

                PM: 1:20:44 (Panajachel, hills!)

23^rd: 1:14:29 (Panajachel)

24^th: 1:16:42 (San Jorge, hills)

                PM: 1:05:09 (San Marcos, hills)

25^th: 1:09:39 (San Marcos, hills)

                PM: 48:00 (San Marcos, hills)

26^th: 1:13:43 (San Marcos, hills)

27^th: 1:13:43 (San Marcos, hills)

28^th: 1:22:34 (San Marcos, hills)

29^th: 1:01:05 (San Marcos, chased by a weird local)

30^th: Tikal

31^st: 2:04:49 (Bullet Tree Falls, Belize, part with Rio)

February
1^st: 1:06:02 (Bullet Tree Falls, Belize)

2^nd: 3:25:26 (Bullet Tree Falls, Belize)

3^rd: 1:53:26 (Bullet Tree Falls)

4^th: 1:15:26 (Caye Caulker)

5^th: 1:01:39 (Caye Caulker)

6^th: 20:15 (San Pedro)

A Vegetarian Duck Sauce (you know, for dancing)

I'd heard it before.

I'd danced to it at clubs, at Burning Man, at Burner parties, with glitter flung at me, hands tossed in the air, eyes closed, being twirled around. Oh, I always loved it.

But it was different at Heike.

At Hostel Heike, it was probably Ari that put it on. He had the best playlists. He had on Air and Metric and Regina Spektor and The Knife and everything amazing. And this came on.

This is the hostel you dream of. Okay, the kitchen was chaos, it was noisy, it was hard to get a quiet Skype conversation. Your mother only heard the noise, the dancing, asked you, "What really goes on at these hostels?"

Mom, you have no idea. 

Making amazing food and sharing it. Dancing with Rasta dogs. Singing Feliz Navidad. Sharing wine. Abuelo rum, anyone? And music. And hugs. Total strangers hugging you when you cry. Kinda like Burning Man, but in a foreign country, with no costumes, and grubby outfits. Or bikinis.

Heike was the hostel where, yeah, it's a beach town, but chances are, even on a sunny day, you could find some rad people just chilling, studying Spanish, reading, talking, sharing food, fun. I loved it.

And this song came on...

And I went nuts....

And it was normal.

It was Heike.

And this is my love letter to Heike, and to this song.

a few more random pics of bocas del toro

i can't believe i'm leaving. i don't want to. i love this city so much...beach, rad peeps, beach, cool vibes, beach, good weather, beach, relaxation, beach...tomorrow i head up north, to costa rica.

 

What if I stayed here?

What if I stayed here?

What if I never left? It's the kind of thing you can't help but think when you're someplace amazing, running on a beach, loving the place you're temporarily living...okay, just hosteling, but I wish I was living here.

I can't stay. I have someone I'm madly in love with back home who would never move here, I have a good job, an apt that I can actually afford, a great running community, lots of awesome friends, family...I can't really leave, but a girl can dream.

A girl can dream, right?

A girl can dream of staying in a town like Bocas del Toro...of the beautiful weather, of the sunshine, of the awesome beaches, of the surfing multiple days a week, of the two runs a day, of the friendly people, of the beauty, of the chill culture, of the relaxed pace of the society...there are others who have beat me to the idea, working at hostels, in English language bookstores, surfing around until their money runs out. Meeting rad backpackers, trying new foods, new drinks, breaking all the rules, going to the places that scare you...

But could I do it, really live here? On the beach, the chill life? Would my job let me relocate here? Would I ever get tired of it? Would I miss things back home too much? Would I be happy here, all the time?

I don't know. It's something I don't need to think about, since I won't be staying here. I'm sure I'd find the island life limiting, the running boring, the Panamian time annoying, the lack of good fruits and veggies and vegetarian food frustrating, the tourists overwhelming.

When I'm back in NY, in the cold winter, seeking solace in the warmth of my love, friends, family, and cat, I will hope to cultivate the peace and calm and warmth and happiness I have found here in Panama...and hope to continue to feel this amazing way when I'm back in the cold city that is my home.

Bocas del Toro, Panama

It's amazing how great a beach town can make you feel - surfing, beaches, snorkeling, starfish, rad people at a good hostel (Hostel Heike), good Spanish classes, good friends...

Bocas is a pretty chill place - beaches, snorkeling, surfing, not tons to do but go to the beach, go to fun parties, chill, eat.

I met up with a couple new friends who I met in Panama City - the Canadians (aka Chris & Jess) and Brian, and met lots of rad people. We've been taking tours (snorkeling and beaches), going to beaches, going to fun parties where $1 tequila shots are followed by a late-night jump off the high diving board, maybe even in all your clothes...there's been a lot of good times here. I don't ever want to leave. And if I had my love here and my cat, I might not...but since that's not going to happen, I'll just enjoy every last drop of it while I can. 

Panama City, Panama

Within ten minutes of being in my hostel, I had already changed, was chatting up my Israeli roommate, then went downstairs to the bar in the basement of my hostel. I grabbed a margarita (needed one after a crazy stressful day of flying) and was chatting with Brandon, these German girls, Pat (aka "The Australian"), and others. Within an hour, I was in a crazy cab, speeding towards Panama City's clubbing district.

We danced. I got super drunk (first on Temptations, then on Cuba Libres) and some Panamanian guy grabbed me and started dancing with me, which was okay but then he dropped me on my head. I got up, yelled at him in Spanish, then went back to dancing with my friends. They were playing reggatone, they were playing hot 92.3 music, it was so much fun.

Four hours sleep and I ran through the city. I was staying in Casco Viejo, but ran along the water to the new city. I loved the skyscrapers - such a unique skyline. I loved it. The men nonstop "psst" and whistled and yelled and sexually harassed me. Pretty annoying.

I met some Ozzies at the front desk of the hostel, told them that we had to go to the Canal, and after an exploration of Casco Viejo, we went. Our cab driver was absolutely mad and it was a mixture of exhilirating and scary to be in his cab.

The canal was boring. Boring. Cookie, Tortuga, Marco and I made jokes about how life-changing it was, but I guess we had to see it. Then I took a nap.

Went out again, of course. Relic first in the hostel with $1 pineapple rums, then more dancing.

And on to the next city, Bocas del Toro, and I know it's the #1 lie of Bocas, but really, I'm not drinking tonight.