22 December 2010

What if I stayed here?

What if I stayed here?

What if I never left? It's the kind of thing you can't help but think when you're someplace amazing, running on a beach, loving the place you're temporarily living...okay, just hosteling, but I wish I was living here.

I can't stay. I have someone I'm madly in love with back home who would never move here, I have a good job, an apt that I can actually afford, a great running community, lots of awesome friends, family...I can't really leave, but a girl can dream.

A girl can dream, right?

A girl can dream of staying in a town like Bocas del Toro...of the beautiful weather, of the sunshine, of the awesome beaches, of the surfing multiple days a week, of the two runs a day, of the friendly people, of the beauty, of the chill culture, of the relaxed pace of the society...there are others who have beat me to the idea, working at hostels, in English language bookstores, surfing around until their money runs out. Meeting rad backpackers, trying new foods, new drinks, breaking all the rules, going to the places that scare you...

But could I do it, really live here? On the beach, the chill life? Would my job let me relocate here? Would I ever get tired of it? Would I miss things back home too much? Would I be happy here, all the time?

I don't know. It's something I don't need to think about, since I won't be staying here. I'm sure I'd find the island life limiting, the running boring, the Panamian time annoying, the lack of good fruits and veggies and vegetarian food frustrating, the tourists overwhelming.

When I'm back in NY, in the cold winter, seeking solace in the warmth of my love, friends, family, and cat, I will hope to cultivate the peace and calm and warmth and happiness I have found here in Panama...and hope to continue to feel this amazing way when I'm back in the cold city that is my home.

No comments: