Take Me to Church

I was in Brooklyn Banya with Menachem and friends. We were going back and forth between the wet and dry saunas, between the steam room, and the jacuzzi. We were resting in between sweat sessions, Menachem and everyone was sitting at table, dipping chunks of bread in hummus, in avocado dip. I was in the jacuzzi alone.

You could relax and stare into space, which I did. But there was also a television showing MTV. ("MTV still exists?" someone asked. Clearly we all watch our videos on YouTube.) I don't find television particularly relaxing, but I found myself drawn to this video. They were playing a song that I had heard before and liked, "Take Me to Church." I never knew much about the song or Hozier or anything. But the video drew me in. It horrified me and I couldn't stop watching.



I researched it. They made the video when all the homophobic laws were being passed in Russia. It gave me chills and I was almost crying. Here I was, in a Russian banya, unable to stop staring at the homophobia I was witnessing. In some ways, I grew up in a bubble being from New York - I have never seen things like this. My dad likes to say, "People are different outside New York." I know this kind of horrifying violence can happen in New York, but Russia. Matthew Shepard. So many other things.

I'm glad through my job I can do things like educate people about LGBT issues and sexism and diversity, and I think that's so valuable. But the fact that bullshit like this exists today around the world, where there are countries where same sex acts are punishable by death, where hate crimes go unpunished even in our own country - it's enough to make me cry.

At the banya, I watched the video. A lump in my throat. I got out of the jacuzzi, where I had been sitting alone, and sat back down with my friends. I was doing nothing, and that's not a good thing. We always need to speak up. I spoke up to the homophobic assholes in my high school who threatened me senior year after learning my prom date (aka my best friend) was gay. I've spoken up to many people over the years who think using the term "gay" as a substitute for the word "stupid" is okay. I've challenged people in other countries, got into arguments, and cursing fights.

We all need to speak up about these things. It's never okay, and we need to keep fighting until people can be who they are without others thinking it's okay to punish them for what they don't want them to be.

Moving Ahead?

Last week's rulings on DOMA and Prop 8 have given me so much hope. Sure, we get homophobic jerks speaking their hateful minds sometimes, but those two decisions were massive.

I had heard the Macklemore and Ryan song abt same sex marriage equality, but I didn't really think about the power - and the reach they were having. This is a hit song of equality. And for the hiphop community - which is so often full of hatred towards the LGBT community. It's hard to listen to so many of the talented lyricists when the words are rooted in hate.



As a teen, my best friend was gay. He still is. His parents resisted periodically, telling him he had to "find the right girl" and often insisting that I was his girlfriend. They didn't want to believe the truth. Now, they've accepted it.

But so many times, I told Mike I didn't want to get married if he couldn't. I'm happy to say, he now can in New York State. Not everywhere, and that's something we'll need to work on one step at a time. I saw the stupid immigration BS my friends had to go when his partner transferred him to the states - my friend's partner's company stepped up and helped out - nice when companies are the ones speaking out on the BS and helping the create change.

But we're not there yet. We're so far from equality. But this is a beautiful glimmer of hope. So while last week's tears were truly tears of joy, there are still of lot of tears of pain that will be happening moving forward, and I hope they are much more minimal than they have been in the past.

why same-sex marriage should be legal

because no one deserves to die alone

i'm so sad that our country is based on hate

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

hatred hurts

this is why i'm almost in tears right now.

enough said

how things really are

a quote i read years ago i still agree with

"we refuse to congratulate corporations that engage in abusive labor policies simply because they have a non discriminatory policy towards LGBT workers."