Right now, I'm taking things very easy, recovering from surgery. I'm out of work another two weeks, and I don't think I'll be running too soon. I went for a walk today, which was successful in that I didn't pass out, but I am pretty tired from that. I'll be heading to bed pretty soon (around 8:30pm). Getting back to normal is going to be a slow process and I'm trying to be smart. My doctor's appointment is next week and I hope the 24th to be the magical date upon all is normal.
My mother got very upset with me before. "You don't know when to stop. You worry me..." My painful performance at Miwok 100k worried the hell out of her. To recap, my shins hurt, my feet were swollen with blisters, my asthma was bothering me, and I was terribly dehydrated. I was crying much of the last 12.5 miles. I was so proud of myself that I didn't quit.
"I want you to promise me that you know when to quit." I knew none of those things were causing permanent damage, just temporary misery. The misery wasn't so overwhelming, and I knew once I stopped I would feel relief...but how amazing it felt to finish when I was so weak and I had struggled so hard.
Was it smart that I pushed? Do I not know when to stop? How can I stop when I'm constantly pushing? My mother asked me these questions and I didn't know how to answer. I know how to be strong; how to push; how to keep going and dig deep; how to grin and bear it. Sometimes, digging deep is harder than other times. Miwok was mentally a challenge because of the pain and dehydration...but when should I stop? How do I figure that out?