05 January 2015

Not Loving Traveling

Going to Ecuador has not been my favorite trip. There are a bunch of reasons, and I’ve struggled to identify why as I feel sick with this all-encompassing emptiness.
                I think I’m mainly burned out from traveling and being away from home so much the past two years. Yes, there have been a lot of races, visits to family members. But time away from home means time away from sleeping in the arms of Stedman, cuddling with my kitties, cooking and baking and eating my awesome food, drinking wonderful tea (I’m obsessed!), having access to all my clothes, taking baths when I want, and just the ease of home life. I never missed it like I do now.
                It does and it doesn’t have to do with being away from my partner; I miss him, though I enjoy the space at times. But right now, I just want to be with him. And with my home. He is mainly listening to me and supporting me.
                Traveling involves a lot of negative things – like crummy food and long days and risk of bedbugs and risk of robbery and risk of getting sick and getting lost and everything.
                The food here is not my fave. I really miss eating at home. I’ve lowered my standards, but it’s sad how little I enjoy food here. I also am getting sick from something – I’m not sure what, because even when I cut out fruit, I still get sick. I’m only drinking bottled water. Literally every morning, I have a battle with my stomach. At least it’s only in the morning, and I’m not throwing up, but I’ve never been quite so miserable. Ugh.
                I find the countryside just gorgeous, but unfortunately, those pretty mountains make for long and uncomfortable bus rides. The bus rides have high risk of robbery, so you need to keep your valuables on your lap (not above your head, not between your legs) in case your bags get slashed. I’m not exaggerating.
                Many people are nice one-on-one, but I have found people to be overall rude. For instance, if you are walking down the street and someone is walking with a group, they won’t move over to let you pass. They’ll let you walk into the gutter instead. Or they’ll walk into you and refuse to apologize. Wow. Even in New York City, if you walked into someone and didn’t apologize, you’d get a yell, “What’s your problem?” or some cursing.
                I haven’t been in love with this trip. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been having fun, I haven’t been enjoying my freedom, that I haven’t been doing really amazing things. It just means I think I need to rest for a while and not travel. Just way too much….

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