i went to not new york this weekend.
this is how i feel when i leave town: panicky, because it's not new york. pizza at four in the morning? they won't have it. a zillion people around you so you feel safe and never bored? got it. familiar and exciting things all the time? that's new york. i also think the whole trapped feeling stems from being outside of new york, if you want to go home, be somewhere familiar you can't: you're stuck someplace that's more than a quick cab or subway ride home. you're not in new york.
i went to port authority (which beats times square as my least favourite new york city place, but it's actually in times square, making it all the more suckier) and waited for a bus. i got on a bus and spent the next 5 hours 15 minutes squashed on a bus--an extra hour and a half than my timetable suggested. (vow to self: never take a bus after work leaving the city. the extra the train charged is worth it!)
when i got to not new york, MA, i felt strange. i went into a cvs...people looked so wholesome, so all-american, so suburban. cars driving, politely waving a car making a left in front of them, bland food, the friendly banter...how not new york.
i know you need to leave new york to really get it but sometimes i think there's the world...and there's new york. there's heaps of places (and you probably think of your town as the main thing, and then the rest of the world. i do the same for new york.) but no place is like new york. no place.