21 December 2003

i am a runner.

five a.m. foggy. freezing: hat, mittens, scarf. still cold.ten p.m. rain mixed with hail. visibility difficult. 30s.
two p.m. sunny. humid. thirsty. 104°

whatever it’s like outside, i’m still gonna do my thing. i once heard this woman saying, “of course i didn’t run today. it’s raining!” as if she’s going to melt?! please! get to it! be strong. i’ve been strong for eleven years, and it’s tough. you go out there and do it to make yourself proud. me, i have role models. including my friends, and others: my li’l sister Melissa Louisa (national qualifier, race walk), pre, joan samuelson, and every single other person who runs is an inspiration to me! so what if i’ve been through six coaches in four years? i don’t need them! i just need me! i run—you don’t understand why i do unless you do. when you’re running 15 miles and feel like dying and someone yells, “yay, keep going! you’re awesome!” you feel great. or when you see a deer in the woods. or when you just get that feeling—that high—runner’s high, and you feel yrself going fast, faster, fastest, and you feel like you are flying, as if it’s effortless, and you feel like you are flying, as if it is effortless, and you never ever want to stop. the endorphins! the energy! i’ll feel sick, or lethargic, and after a run, i feel completely re-energized. people always ask, “you run? why? how many miles? you’re crazy!” if only they knew my goals…adventure racing, and definitely, ultra-marathons! i want to travel to race—alaska, africa, sweden, california, everywhere. see beautiful places in tough cross-country races.

mark belger said, “you know who i look up to? i look up to the five-minute milers. because they don’t get any of the good things i get. they’re out there running just as hard. they’re the guys with guts, the guys with a lot of inner determination.”
(five-minute milers are slower; decent milers are sub-4 minutes)
yeah, i’ll probably never be in the marathon or a world-class runner like those muscle-masses, but i’m gonna try, keep running, working my hardest, for me.
i love to feel excellent.
running is my excellence.
i am a runner. any questions?

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