06 December 2003


Maybe you don't live in NY. But honey, it's snowing! Blizzarding, although Dustin my Ohio-born-and-bred friend, says this is nothing. This is chaos!

Why do I hate snow? I don't. I think it's beautiful and fun. The energy is great. Everyone is running around my neighborhood, shrieking and drinking hot cocoa and "oh, do we have any more marshmallows at home" kind of day. It's the perfect day to spend curled up with a nice book. Well, my cataloging book doesn't seem so terrible. (I love it but I'd rather be outside right now.)

Here's a few reasons why I do not like winter: (Sorry Trevor)

1. Cold.
2. You are in SO many layers--ridiculous. You always have to lug around a coat and scarf and mittens and hat and you are hot inside and cold outside. It doesn't make sense. No one looks cute in winter-time.
3. Snow may be fun, but if you are a runner, it brings unfavorable consequences alongside, including:
a. Hard to run in the snow if it's deep.
b. Your feet get cold and wet.
c. After the snow melts, you have slush and ice. Slush is yucky but manageable; ice is not. Stay inside and get fat.
4. You can't take your cats on walks because she refuses to wear a hotpink sweater in the winter cold. She'd rather be naked, but she's cold.
5. Seasonal Affective Syndrome--I've got it and most people probably do. I deal by lighting lots of candles, keeping tons of lights around me.

What to do:
Check out and enter various locations until you find one that is warm enough.
Then go to and look for plane tickets and hotel reservations.
Then look sad to the love of your life (whether it be your husband, girlfriend, best friend, mother, or wealthy schnauzzer) and convince them you need to leave. Wear sunscreen (especially if you are calling out "sick" from work because they may have trouble understanding why the Bahamas are a cure for your illness and depression, which it is!) and build sandcastles. Send postcards to everyone, hahahah. Don't worry, they'll send you some several weeks later when they're in Bermuda.

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