18 April 2012

Put Things Into Perspective

Work has been stressful. My asthma is bad. My running has been exhausting. The house is a wreck. There's too much to do, not enough time to do it.

This guy was sitting in front of the health food store, right after I left my pharmacy with my $50 birth control. $50 for a stupid Nuvaring so I don't menstruate out of control!? (And the birth control part is an added bonus...this is all actually on handling my period, the reason I'm on the pill.), asks me for money. I shake my head no. I'm cranky. I just spent $50 on medicine, not to mention $30 earlier today to go to the pulminologist. Why isn't getting healthy free and easy? The guy yells, "You're really pretty." I don't feel pretty. I'm cranky. I'm stressed about money. I have to finish cleaning my house. I have to --

I buy my milk, bananas, bread. I feel like I'm missing something but I'm not sure what.

"Stupid Republicans, like I want to be on birth control," I mutter to my mother on the way home.

And I get home. Fifty dollar birth control...

And then a good friend calls me. His mother is in an irreversible coma, the result of a stroke. He is dedicated. They are waiting...waiting for the inevitable.

And I feel stupid.

I feel stupid worrying about my expensive birth control, annoyed at the mess in my house. 

I'm glad I have my mother. And my father. And my grandmas, my sister. Very glad I have my Wayne. Glad to have Luna, my friends, my family. 

I stopped feeling so self-absorbed and instead feel glad.

Live each day with meaning.

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