14 May 2004

so i need to figure out my life

god, will this girl stop whining? yr probably wondering. nope. my mother raised me to whine. it's a yanek trait. just kidding. but seriously, i can't go on like this anymore.

my job:
it's OKAY but JUST okay. the pay is fairly good, most of my coworkers are very cool, and i really like my boss. im not too fond of the financial services industry, and i hate the financial district. not to mention im not getting BENEFITS YET! i am trying very hard to find a new job but no luck so far. why wont they just give me benefits???

how does anyone else get along in life?
for example, i set my alarm for 510am, i wake up at 610 or 620 (the former being if my mother calls me, the latter if i get up myself), scoop the litter box, change into running clothes. i wish i could run for 60 minutes but i usually only have 30-40, and that's pushing it. then i go to work (sometimes late which doesn't really matter), imitate "office space" for a few hours, email jessica and venessa. lunch i go to the library or wander around battery park or try to write. then i get out at 5pm (5:01 i'm already on the street, don't try to stop me), if i have class i have to walk to the e at wtc, which means i go to class and don't get home till 10pm, but if not, i go home. laundry, feed cat, clean house, make dinner, do homework, talk on the phone with trevor/family, it all seems pointless. i don't have time/energy to write: AND THAT'S THE ONE THING I LIVE FOR. of course i live for luna and trevor and all that other good stuff but writing, that's what keeps me going. and i'm barely going.

i'm already late for work so i'll end this now but any advice would be appreciated...

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