why i'm out there

running is my drug of choice

"the sky is blue"--david ignatow

Put things in their place,
my mother shouts. I am looking
out the window, my plastic soldier
at my feet. The sky is blue
and empty. In it floats
the roof across the street.
What place, I ask her.

this is how it is

"The richest 1 percent of the world's population owns 40 percent of total global assets, while the poorest half of the world shares less than 1 percent of these global assets. In the United States, the richest 1 percent of the nation's population holds over 50 percent of total household wealth."

--World Institute for Development Economics Research

Living

"Seven sins: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, politics without principle."
--Mahatma Gandhi

never stop living

"There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world; I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer depression, despair, and disrespect."

--Nikki Giovanni

i ate two magnolia cupcakes tonight and i feel great

"stressed is just desserts spelled backwards."
--andrea tasha (pastry chef)

push yourself

"most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
--william james

just you and me--no one else

i've been thinking a lot about monogamy lately. t just moved in, so i'm really committed to monogamy. it's not even like i am doing it for ____ or for t. i'm doing it because in my eyes, i don't want to be with anyone but t--why bother? t is the essential, what makes me feel amazing inside..a.k.a., i'm in love. when i am with t, there is an intense emotional connection that does not happen with other people, and i want that--not some "oh this feels okay."

but are humans truly meant to be monogamous? do other couples start out like us and somewhere along the way, take a different path? i read in an article the other day that most species are NOT monogamous--are humans somehow doing something drastically different by being monogamous (or pretending to be)? there are cultures that do not practice monogamy.

but why can't people be monogamous? why does everyone have to cheat on everyone else? there was a time when i would not finish a book if a cheating character really upset me with their cheating. it still does. i love brightness falls, but the first time i read it, i got super depressed. did russell have to act like that? now i am more adjusted, but i still get upset.

and we've all cheated. we've fucked up. but why is it so acceptable? why does it happen so often? i have a friend who jokingly says that he specializes in married women and women in relationships. why?

and these politicians--don't they know how public their lives will be? we have no moral expectations for celebrities--it actually seems the obvious as the public loves to gawk at the latest wreck the celebrities put themselves into. but why can't they be more discrete? and why must they keep cheating, cheating, cheating? if they aren't getting what they want in their marriage, why not get a divorce and pursue it elsewhere?

i know i am asking questions that have a multitude of answers, and none of them are easy, but it's still a lot to think abt.

when i was in CR, i was chilling with a bunch of hippies. i mentioned "my boyfriend" and this woman was quick to tell me "i don't believe in one person owning another."

me either. i don't own my partner, just as t does not own me. i love him, yes, and i respect him, yes, and i share my life with him, yes, but i don't own him. we compromise. we work together. we love together.

and i'm happy with just him, in a form of monogamy. but really--is it right for everyone? after 8.5 years, i know we are right for each other--but i don't think everyone is with their right partner. and sadly, instead of fessing up or dealing with it, they cheat.

you must live as honestly and truly as you can, to be as happy as you can.

good quote

we apologize for the inconvenience, but this is a revolution.

--subcomandante marco

it's an animal, not an accessory!

i'm not at all a fan of the recent fad of dogs being accessories--like little jewels you tuck into your oversized louis vuitton purse. people no longer walk their dogs--they walk them in baby carriages (called dog carriages, but those are really cat carriages!) and if they don't have one of those, they carry their dogs. it's important for your dog to get exercise, and always carrying your dog is not a way of doing that. i'm kind of sick of this isn't-my-doggy-so-cute thing. dogs are little animals with distinct personalities, and i wish people would honour and respect that.

little moments of peace

i think part of what we live for in this world are those little moments of peace. my old teacher called it "moments of zen."

like when i was in a meeting with my boss, and spontaneously glanced out the window over her shoulder. this enormous boat came by--but it was being moved by a tiny little tugboat. she was blathering on about something that seemed immensely important, but just seeing this little precious moment reminded me of how much world there is outside of our confined walls in our office.

or the other day, when after a good 8 miler, i was running home, thinking about how thirsty i was, when movement in the sky above me caught my eye. a plane was flying low, probably to land at laguardia. however, much closer to me were many birds, soaring and flying over the ugly pulaski bridge. i was struck at how beautiful they were when they soared, and stared as they flap-flap-flap-flap-flap-flap-sooooooooooooooooar. it was so beautiful and pulled me out of my running reverie to watch the beauty filling my sky.

and these are the moments that we live for.

along with my recent surfing obsession

i realized i have too many things in my life--an awesome relationship with a loving partner, my cat, running (which involves 6 days of 1-4+ hours of running per day, plus 2-4 days of strength training, cross training in pool and on elliptical), writing, traveling and travel dreams, and oh yeah, full-time job, along with social life, keeping my apartment clean, family...i don't have time to pursue surfing like i'd like. (plus i'm also a wuss; i just watched blue crush and those waves in that movie are totally fierce!!!)

however, a girl can dream. i'm reading surf books, looking up places to surf online...t and i are talking about a big trip to the south pacific in december, and i'm hoping for bali. i can surf! he was planning on scuba diving, so while i probably won't surf as much as he'll dive (i need to cram those multiple-hour-long runs in at some point!), i def want to spend some time in the waves. i'm also reading the article that blue crush was based on; really fascinating!

i want to get my own board; probably the best way to start. i am hoping to spend as much time as possible this summer in the waves, surfing...also have that ultramarathon and marathon...but i want to just have fun, prioritize my life, but really, get the most out of everything.

Really interesting news link

The NYT decides to interview sex workers and have them speak. Pretty interesting stuff, especially in light of how sex workers have been treated in the media since the Spitzer scandal.

why i started crying when i logged into the NY Times today

i am proud of the tibetans for speaking up, and so upset at what happened to these monks and all these people...

oh how i love my sister

elliot spitzer, governor of new york, who is all about ethics and morals (and is super pro-choice, so that's why i like him), got caught involved in this prostitution ring. of the $4600 per hour prostitution charge, my sister asks,

"what? $4600??? did she have a diamond encrusted vagina or something?!?!"

r.i.p. kitty genovese

i heard that the man that murdered kitty genovese in kew gardens over 40 years ago is up for probation. she's the woman that inspired the first verse in this phil ochs song--as she was being murdered, dozens of neighbors heard, but no one acted to help her. sad--our society can be so insular, selfish and harmful.

Outside Of A Small Circle Of Friends
By Phil Ochs

Look outside the window, there's a woman being grabbed
They've dragged her to the bushes and now she's being stabbed
Maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain
But Monopoly is so much fun, I'd hate to blow the game
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Riding down the highway, yes, my back is getting stiff
Thirteen cars are piled up, they're hanging on a cliff.
Maybe we should pull them back with our towing chain
But we gotta move and we might get sued and it looks like it's gonna rain
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Sweating in the ghetto with the colored and the poor
The rats have joined the babies who are sleeping on the floor
Now wouldn't it be a riot if they really blew their tops?
But they got too much already and besides we got the cops
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Oh there's a dirty paper using sex to make a sale
The Supreme Court was so upset, they sent him off to jail.
Maybe we should help the fiend and take away his fine.
But we're busy reading Playboy and the Sunday New York Times
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Smoking marihuana is more fun than drinking beer,
But a friend of ours was captured and they gave him thirty years
Maybe we should raise our voices, ask somebody why
But demonstrations are a drag, besides we're much too high
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Oh look outside the window, there's a woman being grabbed
They've dragged her to the bushes and now she's being stabbed
Maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain
But Monopoly is so much fun, I'd hate to blow the game
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

[ Additional verse, 1974]

Down in Santiago where they took away our mines
We cut off all their money so they robbed the storehouse blind
Now maybe we should ask some questions, maybe shed a tear
But I bet you a copper penny, it cannot happen here
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends