08 October 2010

Back to Our Roots

Today I finally caught up with Nelson over tea. We sat in the sun and talked about how we're trying to go back to the core of who we are. I really feel like I lost a hold of myself a lot the past few years, and it's been a long journey to get back to who I am and what I'm about.  The conversation felt very comforting, as we were both trying to get down to the deep of things. Nelson's a great friend; he's like hot chocolate, delicious and comforting and full of great things, at the top (like whipped cream) and at the bottom (like that fudgy layer you scrape from the bottom with your spoon). His insights never stop, and always help me.

I'm taking submitting my novel to literary agents as another kind of job. "Don't think about the beautiful creative process," McCormick had advised me. "Think of it as a business. As something you have to do. Like a job."

So I'm submitting my novel. Once I get my grandma's antique secretary in here, I'll be using it to do my writing instead of this stupid computer cart I got seven years ago when I moved in here. Then, I'll move the cart to the bedroom and transform it into a sewing table with a fabric-top cover and I can't wait to start on some projects (which are a secret, since some of you getting these presents may be reading my blog!). I'm reading a ton, as usual, but trying to get ideas and read with a more critical eye. I'm trying to figure out travel plans (December is coming up soon - Central America or India? I can't decide. I've always wanted to go to India but I'll only have 4-6 weeks at the most...so Guatemala, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica might be a more do-able option.) I'm plotting for NaNoWriMo. I'm spending time with good friends. I'm cleaning my apartment, my head. I'm baking delicious food and using the local harvest at the farmers' market to get back into things. Lissy and I realized we haven't cooked since Papa died. There's been a lot of hummus and bread or going out to eat since I got back from Burning Man. So now I'm getting back to my cooking side of things.

And I'm drinking a glass of wine, enjoying this chill night. I'm going to submit to agents, maybe do a little sewing. Prep for tomorrow's 3 hour run. (How short!) Maybe prep a little for Chaos Cooking, figure out what I'll wear to the Post-Burn party and Rubalad. I just got back from a wonderful bike ride through Williamsburg, where I bonded with a fellow biker over the anti-bike car drivers (Yuck!) and also got told by some car that decided to drive my biking pace that I was "so beautiful, do you know how beautiful you are? You're beautiful." Hmmm, yes. Thanks. Speed ahead. Ahead.

And I feel so happy to be in a city where it's okay to be 31 and riding your bike around in an extremely short red polka dot miniskirt, singing "Outta Me" repeatedly. I think to my relatives and friends in the suburbs who can't believe my lifestyle. Yeah, it's a little ridiculous how much rent I pay (or actually, how little; I have a deal for Greenpoint but I can't afford anything else!) but I love being able to see awesome bands, great art, eat good food, be around like-minded creative people. I always say I want to move to the country and just chill, but really I'm a city girl. I love the trails, but the pulsing of the pavement sustains me.

No comments: