12 January 2016

What am I doing in India?

So let's start at the very beginning....

About ten years ago, I was working a part-time library job and feeling a bit frustrated. The hours weren't enough, the students were difficult, and my other part-time job had ended. I looked at an ad in The Village Voice (this was ten years ago, people!) and decided I'd sell my eggs. I'd take the money, sublet my apartment, and head to India. I could travel on that for 6 months.

Then I saw an ad for a women's nonprofit library job....OMG this was truly a dream job. I had to apply. But I didn't want the job. I wanted to go to India. I went on the interview, super cas, because I had a plan in mind. Travel. Explore.

So of course I got the job.

I had to take it because, duh, it was a dream job to work at a women's nonprofit. So I followed my life in that direction. I began running ultras. I worked at my job, hard. I focused on advancing my speaking skills and presentations, and spoke at SLA and other conferences. I started social media at my job. I fell out of love, dated a bunch, and fell in love with the person I've ever loved most in the world. (Hi, Sted.) I did yoga. I played with my cats. I took long trips.

And after ten years, there were gaps. I wasn't getting career development or new opportunities or leadership opportunities (though finding plenty externally and in my freelance work). At my day job, I was begging for new things to do. I was not happy with everything. And I'll leave it at that.

My unhappiness impacted my health. In the past six months, I've had mono, anemia, the flu, major asthma troubles, a cold, vitamin deficiencies - not to mention two eye surgeries and two major running injuries (those two are not related). When my doctor noticed I lost nine pounds out of nowhere, she said, "Stress is the worst thing ever."

I knew I needed a change. It took a while to figure out how to get there.

I began doing yoga almost religiously. It helped. I felt better after it, no longer like I was tense after every stressful day. I once was getting dinner with my parents at The Meatball Shop in Williamsburg. I was eating an awesome veggie meatball sandwich with the Aviator (awesome cocktail). I was with Wayne and my parents. I hadn't worked in a few hours.

And my body felt like hell. I could feel the tension. What was happening?

I needed a plan out. Should I....?

After Burning Man, realizations came forth. 

An idea had been popping in my head for a while. I should do a yoga teacher training. I'd love to learn more about yoga.

I kept thinking about it. And then one night, I asked my favorite teacher, Nicole, where she did her training. We began talking, and I mentioned my interest. And that I'd kind of want to go away and incorporate it as part of a trip.

She told me about a training happening with Amanda Capobianco, a teacher I love. An idea really made sense now....

I talked with friends. I bought Lonely Planet India. I talked and talked and talked a lot with Wayne. Even my parents.

I needed a break to recharge and reset. Travel always does that for me. I wanted to focus on my writing. I've always wanted to go to India. I've wanted to do a yoga training for a very long time. I want to figure out what the best career path is for me. I have an idea now, but of course, the universe has a way of doing whatever it is that it wants.

So I'm in India, land of pollution, crazy rickshaw drivers, and confusion. But I'm also in the land of love, yoga, spirituality, magic, and more.

I'm scared and delighted to be here...I can't wait to see what happens next, but until then, I'm really enjoying this moment.

1 comment:

V said...

"I have an idea now, but of course, the universe has a way of doing whatever it is that it wants." --> It certainly does! I've found I'm happier when I let it. Love you, girl! XO