04 October 2006

leave me alone!

every day i run, i get sexually harassed. it's a "hey baby" or "lookin' good." i joke to cara, "i'm going to take my clothes off and fuck them right here at the side of the street."

sometimes i want to run, i want my emotions to come out completely, huge smile, myself totally out there. it's something i must avoid on many occasions, sadly.

my weird but nice neighbor has heaps of weird and not necessarily nice friends. one of them is a guy who has to comment on me, "you look sexy," "ooooh damn, you gotta boyfriend?" "mmm-mmm-mmm!" i've been quite nasty to him on several occasions but still, he continues to harass me.

today he saw me running up the street and though my neighbor had already entered his building, he waited. before he could speak, i said (i am mean), "yes, today i'd like to gouge your eyes out"--b/c they were looking at me in a way that made me feel quite uncomfortable.

he nodded and i continued, "yes with my keys."

he replied, "you look so sexy today, beautiful."

i entered my building and slammed my door shut.


ChrisE said...

Allow me to provide some translation for you, from the male perspective. This is what you said, followed by what he actually heard:-

What you said:
"yes, today i'd like to gouge your eyes out"

What he heard:
Greetings. I should like nothing more than full sex with you. Your leering gaze and questionable personal hygiene represent, to me, the very height of sexual desirability.

What you said:
"yes with my keys."

What he heard:
Furthermore, cutie, I don't just want you in a booty call kind of way, nay! I positively yearn for you in a deeply primeval sense, wherein my naked feminity lies prone in trembling acquiesence to the juggernaut-like might of your overidding, bestial maleness. Indeed, I demand you take me right now. Nothing less than full, energetic coitus will serve to tame the volcanoesque furnace of lust you have effortlessly ignited in the core of my womanhood. Bravo, sir!

une fille classique said...

don't think i'm gonna stop making lewd comments as you run by my window hot stuff!