Risk = Sexy

 Rio came back from the water, and said to me and Merja, "You know what we were just talking about? How when girls take risk, it makes them more attractive. No, don't laugh. It's an attractive quality to have - a risk taker. I wish more girls would do stuff like you do, like traveling alone. There's a risk there, and it's awesome that you do it."

I pondered this and we accepted his compliment. But then I voiced something that I've been thinking about. "The thing that sucks about not more women taking risk is that I become lonely out there for other women. Most of the women traveling in Central America are in groups, and they don't seem to want to include others in their groups. It's easier to meet other solo travelers, so I end up meeting more men. I wish I could meet more women."

Too bad at the end of my time in Bocas, I ended up connecting with Natalie (super cool Australian; she's headed south to Panama City, I'm headed north up to Costa Rica tomorrow) and Merja (rad Finnish journalist who offered much insight on life) and Natasha (super sweet girl in my Spanish classes) and Julia (who's unfortunately spent much of her time here ill). I wish I could've had more time to bond with them.

I want there to be others. I don't want to be the only solo female traveler. I want to meet other amazing women, hey, attractive for being the risk-takers that we are. 

It's not that scary. Bad things can happen, but bad things can happen at home, and remember, the soul dying and decaying from not following your dreams is worse. I'm ultra-cautious, a little nervous at times, but hopefully, all will be smoothed and safe for my travels.

I'm not drinking tonight, but for those of you who are, please raise your glass to the bravery, the fierceness, the awesomeness, and yes, the attractiveness of all of the other solo women travelers out there.

Being Pretty Is Not A Crime

I hate when, after a pretty woman complains about being harassed/hit on, people respond, "Well, you should feel flattered." Or, "You won't get it forever - and then you'll miss it."

Being pretty is not a crime. It should not make you a victim. I'm sick of the attitude that because a woman is pretty, she is there for male delight or gawking or being treated a certain way (i.e., as if she is not smart, a sex object, whatever).

Nothing wrong with looking good. I wear heels, eye makeup. But there's more than prettiness.

This post is really what inspired me to write about this, especially this: 

You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female". 

UPDATE 10/13/2010: Reading Feministing today, I saw a great post, Why Do Strange Men Touch Me. I have had this happen to me before - ugh. Chloe says,
 
"He wanted to touch me, so I was going to be touched, by a stranger, whether I wanted it or not. What he wanted was more important than what I wanted, because he is a man, and I am a woman. Did he consider that his words and his gesture, perhaps intended to compliment, might mean something totally different to me? If he did, that didn’t stop him. What he wanted was more important than what I wanted, perhaps because we live in a world where what men want is more important than what women want. That is why strange men think they’re allowed to touch me – and any other women they feel like touching. It’s that simple."

when i'm single, i clean more

i was thinking about how i need to clean my bathtub this morning...maybe it's b/c i'm feeling the need for a little romance????




i always hate the way cleaning products are marketed towards women. it makes me ill. why is it assumed that men and children are so stupid that they are pigs and unable to clean? i don't like cleaning that much -- though i do it. but people, please use natural cleaning products b/c they're better for your health (unless, of course, you decide to use them as part of your std-prevention programs...jk, that part in the video is mad funny!)

i'm so sick of hating my body

i wonder, how much time do men focus on hating their body? i'm talking, full on hating. staring in a store window as they pass, thinking, "i really have got to start working out at the gym more" or "my hair looks awful" or "i look like shit, everyone must know." really, how much time? why do women spend so much time hating themselves?

i hate these generalization articles about self-image and eating disorders and that sort of shit, and i know all women do not feel that way, and in fact, i generally consider myself pretty happy with how i look. but for some reason lately, i've either been gaining weight in my tummy or i'm bloated (it may be a combination of both) but whenever i zipper up a formally comfortable skirt to find it snug, or see my reflection in a mirror, i get self-conscious and hating.

you know what? i hate when my friends complain about their thighs. when my aunt says, "you can eat as much cake; look at you. you're nothing." i hate when my mother hates her body. i hate when my friends hate their body. i hate their complaining; i know they are beautiful and wonderful women and i don't see their flaws. no, no one sees your flaws like you see them--if they do indeed exist.

in college, most of the time i ran track, i labeled myself "the fattest fastest girl on the team." i was hardly fat--when i was on the pill, i was in the 120s. yes, 120 pounds and i was the fattest. my coach was good at making us feel insecure over everything we ate.

i got sick--really sick--my senior year of college. a horrible case of sinusitis meant running was hellishly impossible and i constantly felt nauseas. the only thing i could seem to keep down was rice check. i would have a small bowl once or twice a day, sleep a lot, drag myself around.

yet, it was astounding at how everyone kept telling me, "you look so good," "how did you lose that weight?" and worst of all--"i wish i got what you got so i wouldn't eat." they didn't seem to understand at how merely going to my two classes and part-time job was hell; a 40 minute run required a nap afterwards and i was constantly suffering. but i looked good; because skinny=good. skinny=pretty.

i'm hating a lot lately because i can't fit into some of my really rad clothes--that's really the main reason. all my weight gathers in my stomach, and previously loose/comfortable clothing is no longer. it makes me sad. i lost a lot of weight during training for my first marathon when i ran much less; now, i think, during my marathon training last autumn, i probably gained weight.

i don't want to be obsessive. i don't believe in diets. i think dieting is bullshit and unhealthy. still, i'd like to lose my pudge. i know my problem; i indulge in too many sweets.

worse than hearing those i love hating their bodies, i hate them talking about dieting. about being on a diet. "you're beautiful, you're not fat! that's unhealthy!" i think my metabolism has slowed down as i eat a lot less than i used to but still weigh more. in the past few years, i have greatly minimized the amount of processed food i eat. i buy very few packaged meals--cereal, powerbars, etc.--but i definitely do not eat any trans fats and try to minimize the amount of high fructose corn syrup i take in (which is in my beloved gatorade).

but what to do...how can i make myself happy with what i see in the mirror? how can i make myself feel okay in the presence of my friends--instead of staring at their seemingly perfect bodies and lovely flat tummies, wishing i had them? how can i learn to just love myself and stop wasting time on this bullshit of self-hate?