disgruntled and tired

the semester just started and already i'm tired. my thesis is going to be super time-consuming (that's why it's worth three credits, cherie, duh!) and my head feels heavy. i would like a blanket and a pillow, please. sleep at work.

lately work is back and forth. i'm doing "clips"--you gather all the news from the past month or so on a specific topic or company--i've been doing banks--retail and investment. i know, sounds pretty thrilling but i WANT to do research and honestly, i've been bored to tears lately.

i wish my job was in soho. or it was not in the financial district. and i wish i didn't have to deal with the corporate types. this job is good for now--very good financially--but i'm confused abt my future.

queens and i have an interview--the question is: can i settle for that much less $? (yes as long as trevor doesn't leave me.) can i deal with a longer commute? (not really.) can i do public? (yes as long as i'm not working in a horrid hood.) we'll see.

it's crappy weather--rain all week--although tomorrow it's just supposed to be cloudy. i'm not a duck, i hate rain.

pause. sit in your little chair at your computer and pause. read this and then close your eyes. where would you really like to be? now close your eyes.

did you close your eyes? close them! now relax.

me? i'd like to be in a tropical cabin on the beach on my porch or in my porch at my house in greenery--sleeping on a comfy porch futon with my honey and my kitty. then, then i can dream of bigger things. like a good job at an academic library and more $ and getting my novels published and two cats and happily ever after...