07 March 2006

orzechowe and other interesting things

my friend rosa was here and i miss her already. i like having other people around, and i'm excited for when my ozzie friend alex visits at the end of april. cherry blossoms and spring in the air! i can't wait! if only t lived with me...

the breakup thing is a bit strange. "i thought you broke up," j said to me, wanting me to be in the single club. we're breaking up, but t needs to come to nyc to talk abt it. i have a clue what will happen: i'll play my sad ipod playlist, we'll talk, we'll cry, we'll make love (or so i hope), we'll talk, we'll fight, we'll cry....and then he'll probably leave. it scares me to think of my house without him here. without him everywhere in my life. i don't see how it could work otherwise. perhaps we could just live in a fantasy world and continue, but that's not fair to either of us. i just want someone here, in my arms every night, making dinner with me. i love living alone, but living with t would be magical. i must swallow this bitter pill. i must do positive things. i must continue onward.

"you let go, and i let go too." --lauryn hill

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You could always try being fearfully British about it - 'well Montague? we must finally part? Buck up old thing. it's only a decade in the colonies and I'll probably end up worshipped as a living God there by the time I return!'etc.etc.

Life's real fun like this though sometimes - like when you loose a child or parent - Good luck with the transition.