"i need an australian-american dictionary"

my friend alex from sydney has been staying with me until he finds a job and an apt, or until i get sick of him and kick him out. we're having heaps of fun, though i must admit i'm not used to the excessive drinking ozzies take place in. this summer, i remember once drinking water and my friend rocky from melbourne was incredulous: "but cherie, that's just water? water? let me buy you a beer. no, i have to buy you a beer." in the end, we did shots of absinthe and took photos. here's one of them.

anyway, since alex has been here, i feel like i have a roommate. it's kind of nice, although everyone knows boys never make good roommates. i love living alone--i generally walk around naked, pee with the door open, have my weird secret habits (i believe sex and the city touched upon these weird habits in one episode--i think carrie liked to stand in her kitchen eating stacks of saletines)--so this is intruding upon that a bit, but really, i'm having heaps of fun.

alex plays australian football (aka footie) and i went out with one of his footie friends to this australian bar--ozzie flag in the front, footie on the tele, lots of ozzie accents. ruebin won a 1k bar tab so we drank for free and got really trashed. these dopey american girls heard us talking and joined in our conversation.

them: so, are you guys like british?

this is the best way to insult an ozzie. they were annoyed at them, but since they were hot, ruebin (who was heavily smashed at this point) began chatting them up. one of the girls decided alex and i were boyfriend-girlfriend. alex was getting smashed and i warned him if he threw up he'd be sleeping on the bathroom floor.

girl: so how long have you guys been living together?

alex and i look at each other, thinking, is him sleeping on my futon with a pile of suitcases in the corner living together? i guess so.

me: um, a week today.

girl: oh how nice!

us: yeah...

girl: how long have you been dating?

us: ummm....actually, we met last friday....he flew in from sydney then....

girl (flustered): oh, well, my sister moved in with her husband after a week and they've been married for seven years!

alex and i laugh.

so i've been trying not to drink more than usual, but of course it's a bit difficult. otherwise i've been showing alex around ny, talking to him abt the city, having heaps of fun. he's really considerate and i think i've learned a lot abt australia since he's been staying with me. he's trying to turn me on to rodney rude, this australian comedian but i don't get what he's saying: half the time i have no clue of what he's saying, and the other half, i can understand what he's saying but i don't get the jokes. cultural barriers. alex and i have been using heaps of words the other doesn't understand and my dad said, "cher, where's your australian-american dictionary?"

for real, i saw one of those at the amazing travel bookstore in london and i need one of those!