today c, s, and i went out to lunch. we began talking abt risks, abt breakups. it was insightful (and yummy!) and i am so glad i live in someplace where people are from all over with all different opinions.
"i broke up with him because i didn't respect myself when dating him. i am still in love with him, but i just couldn't be with him any longer."
"i give ultimatums. it's a huge risk, but you have to do it or you won't be able to live with yourself."
"i can't take risks. i hate being out of my comfort zone."
"that's when you learn. that's when you grow."
"learning and growing are scary."
"taking risks also introduces you to all sorts of new options, new things that enhance your life. eating aubergines was a huge risk for me--it was expensive that first time--but i love them and i can't imagine a week without aubergines."
and so on. risks are necessary for life. i'm not talking about bungee jumping or subway surfing; those are stupid risks, with death as possibility. (well, the first isn't as risky but i still wouldn't do it; the second is very stupid, especially as i remember being late for my first class in library school b/c of that high school boy who was beheaded while subway surfing.) risks are saying, "i love you," or saying, "i love you but i can't do this anymore," or chatting someone new up or adopting a kitten or cutting your hair or wearing heels for the first time. risks are about new experiences and a new way of thinking.