decisions...

two months ago, i saw a really great hat at brooklyn industries. it was a lovely deep maroon, velvety, with the cutest bow. i refused to buy it, believing it was too much. but i couldn't stop thinking of it. finally, one night, fifteen minutes before brooklyn industries closed, i grab my wallet, stuffed my feet into my boots, and ran out the door. i had to have that hat!

i have it and i love it. i wear it and frequently get compliments.

deciding to do the san francisco north face challenge was like the hat purchase. too expensive, i couldn't justify it. my mom, friends, family -- no one was encouraging me to do it. but i kept wanting to do it, kept talking abt it. i did a 23 mile run -- with no specific race in mind. a 50k too. i knew running is what makes me move, what makes me live, feel alive.

so i threw all my sensibility out the window, into the dirty street with rainwater and bits of jackhammered sidewalk, and booked a plane ticket for a very short weekend to san francisco where i will spend an entire day of my trip running a 50mile race. i'm a little overwhelmed b/c i have SO much to do at work and trip preparation and holiday shopping...but i'll be fine. i'll do it all. i'm so excited right now.

you know that feeling you get every so often -- the feeling you get when you are walking in the woods by yourself and everything feels electric, from the pine needles to your very breath, or when you are up way too late, fueled by tea, maybe wine, and amazing conversation and you can't believe how limiting the world can be sometime, or when you are making love or even just kissing and your knees buckle and you can't believe that everyone isn't rejoicing because such amazing emotions as these exist -- well, i am getting that feeling now about this race. i feel like i'm getting in touch with my true self, and exploring much more of the world than one could possibly think is possible in just a 50 mile race.