19 December 2004

can i have a puff of air?

last night was good b/c no one was smoking. but still, i can't breathe. seeing all these smokers, and i'm coughing, and i realize i can never ever date anyone who smokes. my ex smoked, but this was years ago, years before i was diagnosed (though i had asthma then) and it was some sort of forbidden thing...oh i'm kissing a boy who smokes. i never had any desire to smoke and think it is so gross. i'd like some air please.

i guess as an asthmatic i just wish i could breathe normally. i'm in my apartment and yet i'm wheezing and coughing and generally feeling like shit (working on this stupid paper probably has something to do with the feeling like shit part). and i just wish i could breathe normally and feel good. so i just can't understand why anyone would smoke and destroy their lungs...i mean, give me your working strong lungs, take my shitty ones, then you'll know how it feels not to breathe.

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