12 December 2004

merry f-ing christmas

i love the holidays. i love christmas. i love decorating, i love wrapping presents, i love watching people open presents that i selected for them. i just feel really depressed and not into christmas this year. and all the pressure. what do you get for someone that you want to smack in the face 80% of the time? how do you show your cat that she is the most special thing in your life? how do you endure christmas dinner with relatives and family how enjoy starting arguments, are mentally ill (whether they know it or not), and have opposing viewpoints? damn, i'm gonna need a lot of wine this year. and i have some gifts i want to make, but like, i have so much time with school? exactly.

i don't have PMS. i just am really cranky with everybody and everything right now, except my cat. i'm tired, i'm exhausted, i don't want to do it anymore. like putting all yr effort into a relationship that is sitting in the toilet, waiting to be flushed. i've been so negative lately, sorry.

on the up note, i'm listening to christmas music. LOVE IT! i'm going to make some cocoa later and sit by my little tree. and i'm taking off a week and a half for the holidays and am hoping to spend the bulk of it writing, with some time with family and friends too. and of course, reading a lot, esp on travel books. i can't wait to go away.

i bought a pair of sparkly blue fuzzy socks and i just put them on. i felt something strange and realized there was one of those metal fasteners in it. great.

any suggestions on how to cheer up?

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