i went out this weekend and got tipsy two nights in a row, which would be fine if i wasn't trying to finish revising this stupid paper by wednesday. instead i want to make xmas gifts, figure out something else nice to get my parents, get venessa one more thing, and get my grandma more writing paper. i'm in front of a computer, and my paper for my thesis are on my desk--a start.
i drank sangria at my friend's boyfriend's show at this beautiful soho studio--and then i'm thinking, watching people dance, how it's so amazing to be an artist b/c you offer something to people--a part of yourself. and as an artist, seeing people get excited or inspired or altered by my work--i know i've made a success. and even tho t and i beg to differ, i think of the speech at my graduation--being an artist is a higher calling.
last night went to a complacent party. www.complacent.org they are a group of artists who enjoy music, experimentation, influence of all different cultures and experiences. a lot of burning man people, artists, musicians. they usually create a really intense atmosphere--with effigies, sculptures, paintings, free body painting, random spontaneous art being created and sought out. last night the coat check room, among other things, had 4 or 5 tvs, from large to small, lined up, all playing rudolph the red nosed reindeer. emily had never seen so we got drunk while i narrated. she loved herbie. the bumble is SO cute even tho he tries to eat clarice! so i'm dancing and drinking and sweating and drinking from my friends' glasses and bottles and feeling so full of love...i meet some crazy burning man guy with fuzzy pants, dance all crazy with him. there's some obnoxious heterosexual men with fucking holly over their head (if you brought mistletoe you got $3 off the invite) and em and i keep going "that's holly." there were a lot of heterosexual men and i was so grossed out--ugh, go away. i took my hair down and whipped it in front of my face as i danced...that way they couldnt look at me and i couldnt see their beady little eyes staring at me. overall i feel disgusted at men right now and dont want anything to do with them...i did go with j. but he's the nice big bro i never had.
but bk to art. i love complacent b/c they're constantly creating and recreating and bringing together all different people and experiences. new nation was a party they threw in the summer and i cheered with the cheerleaders, danced with these indian-inspired musicians who were fucking amazing, dancing inside a sweaty crowded room, met people, got lost, felt overwhelmed by the intense atmosphere. i like to create art when i am someplace, exploding with words and feelings and an intense form of dance and omigod, everything is SO funny.
and that's the thing about art. you make it not to enjoy it yourself, but to share it. and i like to share. so here's some more of me, more of my art.
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