Firenze (Florence)

I adored Florence. It was a lovely city, big, but not too big--you could walk everywhere. Seeing David was captivating--I waited in line forever, and then an American tipped me off that everyone was cutting--so we did and cut our waiting time by half an hour. But I stood in front of David for a long time, amazed by the immensity and the beauty of the sculpture. I saw a great amount of art--at the many museums of Florence, including Galleria D'Arte Moderna, Galleria Del Costume, Galleria Palatina, Museo delgi Argenti, Giardino di Boboli, Antoniomanzi a corte, Museo delle Porcellane, Duomo Church, Museo dell Opera di Santa Maria del Fiore, Galleria degli Uffizi--yeah, I spent heaps of time in museums. I also stayed at the raddest hostel, Ostello Gallo D'Oro, where I met Felicia and Andy, two awesome New Yorkers--and Felicia turned out to have gone to the same college as me, also a journalism student (and I ran into her at 3am at Beauty Bar several weeks ago, how random!). I had so much fun, chilling, eating, running, viewing art, having fun.

venice!

venice, i was warned, was such a cliche, so touristy, so crowded, so hot and sweaty, so dirty. true, true, but it was lovely. some of my greatest photos are of venice, so pardon me if there are heaps of photos. don't plan on spending that long in venice--there honestly isn't too much to do. i was there for two and a half days, and visited the museums i wanted to (the peggy guggenheim, the museums of st marks (doge's palace, museo correr, museo archeologico nazionale, monumental rooms of the bibliotecca nazionale), gallerie dell'accademia--went into way too many venetian glass shoppes, seeking the perfect gifts for lissy, mom, and nessa, ate pizza (because everything else there is super expensive), walked around with a couple (she was 22, he was 40) and this really cool guy from turkey, chilled. it was fun to walk everywhere and get super lost, and it's just a charming place you really must visit, but please, don't spend too long: the crowds and the boredom will drive you mad!

bitter

perhaps i came across as bitter in my last post, but i guess i'm sick of hearing other people's good news while i'm stuck in a shitty relationship. it's inevitable that t and i will end things unless i am prepared to live by myself while he does his thing elsewhere (and i'm not, and he's just not realizing this, and things are not good now) . but if you haven't, there is an episode of sex and the city where someone at a party steal carrie's manolo blahnik sandals that are $400-something, and the hostess of the party balks when she hears the price, blaming carrie for making irresponsible decisions. carrie is pissed, because she has given bridal shower gifts, wedding gifts, baby shower gifts, birthday gifts for the children, etc, and because she hasn't had that, that makes her irresponsible. likewise, i'm hearing about what my sister wants for her engagement, etc. and carrie set up a registry for the shoes at manolo and the woman eventually purchased them. i told my mom i wanted a gift just for being me, and as she is pissed at the way things are with t, she said, fondly, "i'll be you an un-engagement gift." i'm hoping it's a pair of manolos, but knowing my mother, it's a pair of guess heels she found at bloomies on an amazing sale for $6 (my mom finds these crazy bargains). and you know what? that's okay with me.

it's me, who i am

can i help it if i'm not married with 3.2 kids, can i help it for not thinking the way i'm "supposed to"? i don't want to be a drone, i never want to work in a cubicle again, and i want to be free. i dream of latin america, of the himalayas, of meditating for months in india. i dream of being free, of running, of reading, of knitting, of being myself. i don't dream of careers and marriages and family: i dream of a universal concept of love, of life, of being, of helping, of happiness.

take off that ipod!

lately i have been meeting people all over new york. last weekend, waiting for the R train, i met this group of german students, and we had a great discussion about germany vs. the united states, new york city as a fabulous place to visit. the train took forever in arriving, but i did not mind as we had such a good time talking. now they are back in engineering school, and their traveling energy inspired me.

today i met an israeli man waiting for the 2/3. he came to the usa so his 14 year old daughter could get a kidney transplant at johns hopkins, which was successful (but expensive). we had an interesting conversation, and he kept insisting "you have a jewish face" (something which i don't think i have, as if anything, i look english, but not jewish) and then he wanted me to cash his check. it was 11:54 and i had much more than 6 minutes on the train to make it for noon work, so i could not.

but put those ipods away. in high school, i would meet heaps of people on the trains--even my idols like thurston moore. a book is a much better conversation piece than headphones in your ears.

i admit: during rush hour, when you cannot even read you are so squished, an ipod is often the only thing that prevents insanity. but keep on opening up, as being a human is all about engaging with other humans.

graffiti i saw during my morning run

ignore patriotism
support humanism

smile

going to work in the morning, i see people's faces as i transfer my trains: long, drawn, sleep-deprived faces, filled with regret and hatred and exhaustion. and i try to brighten up these faces, let their eyes lit up above the bags, with a smile and such. i always try to say hello to the forgotten people: janitors, track workers, homeless people, whoever. the executives have enough people saying hi to them; i need to cheer up whoever i can. when i worked for d, i became friends with the cleaning staff, who was primarily a woman the mail room guys (who i also hung out with) called speedy. there is a janitor at g who looked so sad always, the first few times i said hello to him, he almost regarded me with suspicion. but now he sees me, his face lights up, "hey, hello!" and i say it back. i feel good cheering people up, because honestly, the person-to-person connection is what keeps me going. at my library, i treat the patrons with respect and kindness, and they usually treat me the same. it makes me feel like i'm doing something useful at work. people is useful; helping people is useful; making money for a corporation is not.

homesick for the road

right now, i'm busy working, getting ready for the holidays, i have a pile of laundry to fold in the other room, christmas gifts to make, a cat to exercise and play with, a floor to sweep...and i feel so homesick for the road. i miss traveling so much, and wish i were taking a photograph or engaging in a conversation with someone or not reading because living is so much more exciting. i love being a librarian, and i'm good at engaging with people and doing research: but i miss traveling and i know my heart lies in writing and traveling. still, i keep a smile on my face wherever i am because being miserable will not change a thing.

i am working now, and although there are immediate needs for my salary (like rent, utilties, that sort of thing), i see it going towards a grander trip.

zurich

i went to zurich for the main reason that i wanted to attend the street parade, zurich's rave in the streets. heaps of trucks (nearly 30) carry trailers filled with djs, dancers, and decorations, and people dance in the streets behind the trucks (of whatever truck you chose, wait till one passes with music you like), and the parks are overfull with djs and dancers, and the entire city takes over. it's great fun. this is why i went from austria to the cinque terre, and back to switzerland: so i would be in zurich for the weekend of the street parade.

i stayed with marco, who i met through hospitality club, and he was awesome. we had such an amazing time talking, cooking, hanging out, swimming, biking. he was amazing. i also hung out with his friends and his roommates and his roommates' friends, and everyone was so welcoming.

smash

i'm reading smash by koren zailckas, which is somewhat good, and also funny because right now i am a bit smashed. well, not totally; i had one drink, but lately, one drink gets me tipsy. i ran home, ran, ran, and all these hipsters stared out of their converted loft as a woman in a sparkly sweater ran down green street. wheee!

i'm taking on another job, a part-time temporary job (during exam week) for some extra cash. hopefully, i'll be better financially in another month. i hate this stress of everything.

this year i am not going crazy over the holidays; i am making a few gifts and will buy other things, but i just don't have the money and time for elaborate gifts. luna, however, will get heaps of kisses and hugs from me, because she is my baby. meow!

annoying library patron

it's 7:53, and the kg library closes at 8pm. i'm shutting down computers, straightening up, and there is only one patron in there nearly done with his class assignment. this woman comes in and with a thick accent asks for books on boajboigoujoihg. i ask her, "can you please tell me again what it is that you are seeking?"

"accounting."

"okay," i say. "do you have a card because we are closing here in a few minutes."

"no but i need books because my accounting textbook is no good you see."

i give her a few titles, then send her to the stacks. at three minutes of, i call her back. it takes several minutes to make a card (we have a real pain in the butt system that is quite time-consuming) so i make her a card. she goes, "well i want to look for more books."

"i'm sorry but i need to get your address from you." she looks pissed, and while i print up the barcode, i tell her to run back to the stacks. i check out her book and call her, "we're closing." she does not respond. finally, i shut off the computer and say, "the library is now closed." it is past 8pm.

"i really wanted to look more," she tells me.

"well, we're closing now, but you can come tomorrow and we can help you find more books."

she glares at me. "but i'll be busy tomorrow."

yeah, me too. but i shouldn't feel guilty because i want to go home when i'm off and not help someone. i have no problem at all doing my job when i'm at work. but when i'm done, i want to go home. i was famished and sleepy. i hate when patrons do that.

i don't respond to her comment. i'm glad that i don't work at a public library; the worst is when they say, "my taxes pay your salary." yeah, and also the fire department, the paint used for the lines in the road, the war in iraq, dubya's salary...must i go on?

interlaken, switzerland

ah....switzerland. expensive, yummy chocolate, and LOVELY. i entered interlaken saying, "i won't do any adventure sports...i'm too scared." i planned on kayaking, hiking, chilling out. on my first day, i found myself egged on by suzy, calling a hanggliding place. i went hanggliding, went to the top of jungfraujoch for amazing views (see my article on bootsnall), ran around the beautiful lake brienz, watched paragliders and hanggliders come in, hang out with fellow backpackers. the highlight of course was hanggliding--you are lying flat at your stomach looking at one of the most beautiful places--my mouth was literally open almost the entire time. it was among the best 15 minutes of my life.

what you're supposed to want, do, think, feel, act: a revolution against traditional thought

i'm thinking about what i should be doing and who i should be and i'm glad i'm not that. i'm 26 years old, working two part-time professional jobs (librarian), live alone in new york city, live with my cat, my parents help me out with things like buying me a new sweater or fixing my air conditioner and whatnot, my boyfriend lives ages away and we are on the verge of breaking up, i can barely afford my rent, much less a down payment on a house (god forbid an apartment! how would the children grow up without a backyard of their own!), yet i'm dreaming of my next trip, and i spend my weekends doing errands, cooking health food, going out to bars or clubs with friends, getting smashed and enjoying it....and i think of 26 years old, and there are 26 year olds who are married with children and large rocks on their fingers and a mini-van or at least an SUV and children crying, crying, and shopping at walmart talking about their husband's finances and affairs and drama over housepainters and gardeners and getting the heat fixed and weeding and non-tacky holiday decorations and i realize, i'm glad i'm free and young and a radical and a writer and a reader and a lover of the world, and not trapped into some miserable suburban lifestyle i always knew i would never settle for.

Cinque Terre, Italy

The Cinque Terre was the most beautiful place in the world that I have ever been. The Via Dell Amore, a beautiful 12 kilometer walk, provided astounding views during a challenging and sunny hike. It was here I fell in love hard and fast with Italian food (I mean, Italian food made in Italy, not Italian food made in NY, which I have loved since birth practically.)--gelati, pizza, pesto, pastries, oh, I want more! I chilled with Rebecca and Anna, walked along the beach, took heaps of photos in these calendar-perfect towns. I miss the Cinque Terre and its charming streets. I stayed in a dump in Riomaggiore, but my experiences were beautiful nonetheless. I wish I were back...

salzburg, austria: home of the sound of music

Ii adored salzburg. The main reason I went is because some girl in Paris told me about The Sound of Music bus tour: "Best thirty euro I ever spent." I ended up learning that the actor who played Captain Von Trapp hated children, called it The Sound of Mucus, and had his voice dubbed over. I wandered around the historic streets with Alexis and Marylou who I met in Vienna (we went together) and Chris and I met up after our break in Prague. We stayed at the HI hostel where they show The Sound of Music every night at 8pm; there were over fifty people there. We went out to an Irish pub where I got positively smashed and danced with an Irish guy, Liam; Alexis drank all of us under the table. So fun; just looking at the photos makes me miss traveling desperately.

vienna!

i LOVED vienna. so beautiful, great modern art museums, good pastries (though cheap eats for vegetarians are few and far between). the art was what kept me busy for five days. i met an austrian runner who's doing nyc in 06 (we'll try to meet up amongst the 40,000 other runners!) and ran with him, met alexis, ran into david who i met on a train in germany several weeks earlier...vienna was a lovely town!

budapest

realizing i had a few extra days, i decided between krakow, poland, which i felt a special loyalty to as i live in a very polish neighborhood in new york city, or budapest, hungary, where my grandmother's family is from. i decided to visit budapest: i had been to all of the other countries of my ancestors--england, germany, italy. budapest was full of beautiful buildings, people who spoke in a very foreign tongue to me (not many people speak english there). i loved it, from the cheesey river cruise kate and i took, to the long walk with ice cream with my budapet friend tour guide who helped me get back money a ticket clerk stole from me, and lazed around in the heat with fresh fruit from the farmer's market. i loved it!

prague

prague: the cheap mecca of europe. it's crowded with throngs of american college students and tacky souveniors, but i still had fun. i got lost running through the streets, gawking at the beautiful buildings, walking along the river with rocky, chilling at my hostel. i had a good time in prague, the place where i tried absinthe.

berlin

people kept telling me, "you'll love berlin," and i was like, sure, sure. but i did: there is SO much history in that place. i went on a tour of berlin (new berlin tours; fantastic) where my tour guide was from my brooklyn neighborhood and i met chris, a rad english guy who chatted with me during the tour. i went dancing with michel and "the hollands" (as he called our dutch friends), some ozzies, so many people, went to clubs, museums, i LOVED berlin! i went to saschenhausen which made me think a lot--it was the first concentration camp, so sad. berlin's grim history is fascinating, but also quite depressing.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving, for all of you who don't know, is a day on which americans give thanks for all they have, and have a massive meal with family (and sometimes friends) with lots of food (traditionally a turkey, or for vegetarians who haven't realized how scary it can be (like me, trev, and lissy), a tofurky)) that takes hours to make.

today i woke at 9am to a horrid nightmare abt being a soldier in viet nam where part of the war took place in my parents' house and i was hiding because i didn't want to get shot, and t had a dream i was being stalked by segundo, and pre-heated the oven. the cranberry sauce was done, and i baked the sweet potatoes, then prepped all the ingredients, and peeled the potatoes after they were baked, added the other ingredients (grated lemon and orange rinds, grated ginger, nutmeg, orange juice), topped it with maple syrup and chopped pecans and yum! also, i made apple crisp.

at my parents' house, we tottered around in heels and fancy clothes while my sister tried to beat the crap out of me, my cousin showed up looking like she was standing at the side of some road in jersey (she is beautiful but she dresses so terribly and it's sad), my aunt talked everyone's ears off, i ate lots of food with dairy and wheat gluten (of all on the table, i was "allergic" to every single item (inc the turkey, besides the fact that i'm a vegetarian)). oh well.

now is the official start of the christmas season. i am celebrating by drinking a glass of pinot grigio, listening to xmas music, and decorating (and cleaning up) my house. it's bloody cold outside--25 tonight in central park!--so i feel so lucky to be toasty and warm with my turtleneck and my wine, happy in new york.

happy thanksgiving!

the journey to becoming a librarian

a lot of people seem surprised when i tell them i am a librarian. here's the whole story, what's on my cv and beyond.

i always loved the library. i was forever winning prizes for reading an absurd amount of books in summer reading clubs, and would spend my free time reading books on my rose bedroom carpet. on vacations, i would take out the maximum 30 books and pack them in the trunk of my parents' gold-colored car to maine for several weeks. i knew mrs. lieberman, the children's librarian, quite well and always found comfort in the library.

i wanted a job when i was 15, and i kept applying to the library. finally, when i turned 16 (they had laws about how late you can work, and they needed someone who could work until 9pm), i was hired as a page. i shelved books, did crafts with children in the children's programs with mrs. lieberman, used the typewriter, was around for the first OPACs (online public access catalog), learn to use the internet to find out about a cute californian runner i had a crush on (michael stember, swoon swoon).

when i was 18, i quit just before i went to college for my ba in creative writing (minors in women's studies and journalism). at suny new paltz's sojourner truth library i spent a lot of time in the library, and even used the quiet study rooms. ;) the ILL librarians knew me well because i was forever requesting materials, and i knew liz and russ well, circulation staff. liz was the kind of girl every feminist had a crush on: she DJ'd on the women's show on the campus radio station, knew all about riot grrrl music, was a huge feminist, and super sweet.

alas, i graduated, and was living in the city, working for a horrible nonprofit which i hated, loathed, and despised. lunch hours i would find solace in nypl's donnell library, checking out books, wishing i was working here instead of there. as my job really was not demanding, i spent most of my time reading books.

i quit the evil racist nonprofit to get my MFA in writing and poetics at naropa. i began working at the allen ginsberg library for one of the most amazing circulation directors ever, eirikur. he cultivated my desire to be a librarian, and let me take over inter-library loan, and taught me about the wonders of iceland. i learned how much i loved academic libraries, and started to learn about the research process. after working there for several months, i also started working at the boulder public library, where i worked as a circulation clerk, reading fiction books in between goss with venessa.

but colorado was not my home; new york is. it always will be.

i moved back to new york city to pursue my MLS at Queens College. i got a job working full-time for a consulting firm, with a boss who was emotionally draining and enjoyed making me feel stupid (or maybe she just did it on purpose). i worked there for two years, improving my research skills drastically (with the help of author and librarian libby schmais) until i graduated.

i quit, went to europe.

now i'm working at two new york academic libraries. the situation is far from ideal--i don't get any sort of holiday/vacation pay as i am part-time in both institutions but i hope to find full-time regular work soon--of course, as a librarian!

The Truth About Libraries and Librarians

I'm getting sick of all these stereotypes about libraries and librarians. When I tell people I'm a librarian, I get the same bad jokes and annoying questions: "Do you wear your hair in a bun?" "It must be an easy job to get paid to shush people?" "You must like to read." If you haven't been inside a library in a while, go, whether it be academic, public, or private, and note the staff: I bet your librarian is wearing a sweater with barettes in her hair, assisting users in finding information as opposed to shushing. (And I'm sure somewhere there are the old school librarian stereotype but I am not that.) I am a librarian who lives alone with her cat, and yes, if T and I break up, I will get 12 more cats and then I will become a stereotype. But that's in the future, when I have enough money for cat food for 13 cats.

So here are some stereotypes, and my comments and corrections on them.

LIBRARIES ARE NOT...

"QUIET!"
All libraries are not quiet. Noise levels differ--have you ever been in the children's room during story hour?

"Do people still read anymore?"
Yes, people still read. Fiction circulations are soaring in many libraries. Many people, including older people and young children, find books more user-friendly than computers. You can bring books anywhere--on the train, to the country, in the bathtub--and a lot of writers and others prefer the tactile book. Have you ever read a computer screen for hours? Would you want to read an ebook that way? Not for me.

"Are libraries irrelevant? We have computers, and Google for everything now."
If you think Google is god's gift, you need to speak with a friendly librarian for further input. Google is an unacademic search engine full of highly irrelevant information. Since anybody can put anything (yep, I mean anything and everything) up on the Internet, when you search on Google, you get false hits, websites without authority, inaccurate information--often seeming to be correct. Online databases are extremely valuable, especially for scholars and students--and online databases are available through your library. Libraries purchase databases, research tools, indexes, full-text articles, books, specialized encyclopedias and reference sources, etc, and other things that are not available on the internet. Librarians spend great amounts of time advising users on how to find trustworthy sources and reliable electronic materials.

"The Dewey Decimal System..."
Yep, and Dewey does have flaws, and so does the Library of Congress Call Number System, but it makes it quite easy for browsing. For instance, if you are at a library, and you are doing a research paper on say, Allen Ginsberg, you would search in the 800s or the PSs (depending upon if you are using Dewey or LC), and find relevant materials in the surrounding areas, and then, oh, there's a book on Kerouac, who I also need information on...Browsing is easy, and fun with our displays, and who can say that about a computer screen?


LIBRARIANS ARE NOT....

"Sssshhhhh!"
I have never shushed people. Yesterday, a patron complained about the noise: "I can't study in this place, it's so loud." What I did then and do when the noise level is up is say, "Please keep your voices down it is disturbing to others." I have worked in libraries with all different noise levels; my previous two jobs were quite noisy for libraries, especially with screaming coworkers and my boss's radios.

"All you do is read books?"
No. If you work in a public library, and serve as a readers' advisory librarian, part of your job duty is to keep up-to-date on popular fiction so that you may advise readers--and you'll often read in between other tasks or during slow times at the reference desk. Neither of my jobs includes any sort of leisure fiction; I do review reference books, and help users find information in books, but no, all I do is not read books.

"You must love to read."
Actually, I do. It's not required of my job, and my attraction to words has also made me a writer. But loving to read was not the reason I became a librarian. I enjoy helping others, and researching, which are the two main things a librarian does.

"So what is it that you do?"
I help people develop practical skills for personal and academic research, and help them research and find information. I help users navigate the excessive amount of informaiton out there, teach them how to phrase search queries, check authority of information.

"Where's your bun and glasses?"
I usually wear my long hair down and have perfect vision.

"You work for the book."
No, I work with and for people, not books. You need customer service skills.

"Spinster librarians."
Librarians are very diverse--all ages, all races, all sexes, all sexual orientations, all kinds of looks, all kinds of people, from radical librarians to romance-reading librarians, we're staffing your libraries, waiting here, for you to ask us for help.

i'm hungry

I went to my holistic doctor and got the results of my allergy test back: I should abstain from dairy and gluten. This means T and I are breaking up b/c he doesn't want to be with someone who can't eat his infamous garlic bread (He made fun of me when I told him I might be allergic and said he didn't want to be with me if I can't eat anything). He'll find a nice New England girl with something to grab onto who eats anything without any concern for pesticides or that an animal died for it or allergies. I'm really depressed, and especially at the holidays. Egg nog! Pfferneuse! Cheese, dairy, wheat gluten everywhere. I'm a vegetarian who can't eat dairy or gluten. I'm so depressed. I need to leave NYC because pizza and bagels with cream cheese, two NYC staples, I cannot eat. I wish I never went to the holistic doctor, who cares if my bone density is messed up from my asthmatic drugs? I'm really depressed now about this whole thing, especially at holiday time. Living without asthma just may be a dream idiots who smoke can have. Me, I'm taking one step at a time, one puff (of medication) at a time. Who knows? Maybe I'll lose that fat I've been dying to since I apparently can't eat anything at all.