01 December 2005


going to work in the morning, i see people's faces as i transfer my trains: long, drawn, sleep-deprived faces, filled with regret and hatred and exhaustion. and i try to brighten up these faces, let their eyes lit up above the bags, with a smile and such. i always try to say hello to the forgotten people: janitors, track workers, homeless people, whoever. the executives have enough people saying hi to them; i need to cheer up whoever i can. when i worked for d, i became friends with the cleaning staff, who was primarily a woman the mail room guys (who i also hung out with) called speedy. there is a janitor at g who looked so sad always, the first few times i said hello to him, he almost regarded me with suspicion. but now he sees me, his face lights up, "hey, hello!" and i say it back. i feel good cheering people up, because honestly, the person-to-person connection is what keeps me going. at my library, i treat the patrons with respect and kindness, and they usually treat me the same. it makes me feel like i'm doing something useful at work. people is useful; helping people is useful; making money for a corporation is not.

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