30 December 2005
my life feels like it is in pieces right now. i am having a lot of trouble breathing. i do not get paid enough to pay all my bills, and am extremely worried about finances. i am not speaking with my parents and do not see myself speaking with them anytime soon. t does not live in ny, and may never. my job invovles supervising lazy, insolent, rude, and disrespectful workstudies. this crowding in my lungs makes me panic and reach for my inhaler as i wonder, then dismiss, allergies to wheat gluten and dairy. i have chocolate on my pants, and my pants, yes, are a bit too filled out. my new years' resolution involves losing the five pounds i somehow gained since october or so--which i know i will do as i plan on runnig more. my other resolution is finding full-time employment--something, really, to pay my bills. i have no savings because of how i am currently living. it's quite frightening, to be honest with you.