01 May 2005

where is my mind?

lately all i seem to do is run around doing stuff for my trip. i have this massive packing list on which i have way too many things i need to buy or get or put together. at the same time, i love my apt so much lately and don't want to leave all of its comforts (including my adorable cat, meow). i know i'm not ready to leave greenpoint or my apt or my cushy paychecks, yet in a matter of four weeks (!), i'll be in iceland before you can spell reyjkavik. i feel as i'm at some turning point in my life.

being in colorado has also made me re-examine nyc. and then i think there was some study showing how much pollution nyc had. how long do i see myself staying in nyc? till i get bored of it. i'd like to stay here another five years or so. then move to some chill town in california, like santa barbara where you can bike everywhere, have a garden, and i can work at an academic library and write, and watch luna chase butterflies (although luna will be 8 by that time, and probably even fatter and lazier).

i'm getting super nervous thinking about being alone, away from home for three and a half months, far from the comforts of home (if i get sick, i'll be in some place not home; if i miss my family or friends i'm screwed).

okay i'm going to go running and think about this while i let my feet carry me where my mind never can.

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