29 January 2011

The hippie towns are the ones I always fall in love with, like El Bolson in Argentina. Or San Marcos de la Laguna. The kind of town where people talk to crystals. The kind of town where people tell you sincerely, with wide-open eyes, “I’m working on myself.” The kind of town where you can do yoga in the morning, mind-body massage after breakfast, a lecture on crystals before lunch, a rebirthing process in the afternoon, chanting after dinner, and talking with several healers about how to let go of trauma and pain and reconnect with yourself.

It sounds cliché, but these are always the type of places I feel like I fit in best.

I’ve done most of the things above (though I didn’t go through with the “rebirthing” process since I couldn’t fathom spending 350q to have someone watch me breathe, which is currently a difficult process with my asthma), and am loving this town. I love the music, the candles, the people. It’s been a great place to do a lot of healing. I came here with my heart completely exposed and found myself swaddled, loved, my tears encouraged and then dried. I’ve been learning to let go of a lot of the pain, and to embrace the love that is out there.

I originally came here for two or three days, and am staying four. I kind of want to do five. This is the kind of place people stay. Expatriates dominate, but naccionales continue to influence. It’s a beautiful place.

I’ve done some wonderful running in the mountains, above the lake. I’ve connected with the people, with the plants, with the water, with the hills. I’ve connected with myself.

After a Cacao Ceremony, I cried my heart out. I didn’t think I had any more tears in me. And today, after releasing more of the pain with the Cacao master in a private session, I’ve felt better than I have since before B and I split.

I’m enjoying the healing process here, mostly because it also means that there are new wonderful things out there. New people to meet. New volcanoes to climb. New lakes to swim in.

I’m learning about my flaws, about my pain. I have a tendency to not live in the present moment, and being here has forced me to think more about where I am, where is now. I can’t live in the future – maybe B and I will get back together in six, ten, fourteen months – because that is a very painful wait. I need to live in the now – I need to live in the, “Oh my god, what an amazing view of the mountains,” and “Isn’t this meditation dance party fun” and “I’m so glad I have friends like Merja and Brian to help me out through this.”

My heart has not been crushed. The Cacao Master has been instrumental in putting it back together, but the greater community of San Marcos has all helped me, a little by a little bit. And I’m loving it here, and it’s one of those places you never want to leave – and when you see those who haven’t, you know why.

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