21 March 2005

thoughts on how much i miss you

i've never missed someone like this before; they are in my thoughts, their very being is with me. it makes you wonder about love and the universe and life and death and birth--not the birth of a child, but when luna was born into my life, or the day our love totally overwhelmed us, wiped us out, made us completely doubt everything that ever existed, even our very way of doing things…and still, right now, i am not madly in love with you, i am, but that is not what is going through my head right now…i just keep thinking how badly i miss you.

in the meantime, i'll try to sleep, try to pet my cat, try to do my schoolwork, try to research video game companies at work (yeah!), try to eat sleep pee brush teeth take another bath take my medicine keep my house clean smile nod be appropriate wear suitable clothing carry myself with a purpose…but i know it will be too long before my lips touch yours, too long before love can once again inspire my life.

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