i have been making mix cds for venessa and it's bringing me back in time. remembering 7 inches, kathleen hanna yelling at stupid boys that they don't belong at OUR shows, remembering the fanzine world, the penpal connections, blasting THE FRUMPIES, BIKINI KILL, SLEATER-KINNEY, HEAVENS TO BETSY, EXCUSE 17. dancing around my teenage bedroom and dorm room screaming feminist lyrics while wearing a yellow rain hat. knowing the world was so huge and i was going to dive straight into it.

then in college, discovering social change for women. discovering who i was. discovering radical feminism. not shaving my legs. loving paddie kilrain. loving the butchess, bitch and animal, kaia. omigod kaia. liz's radio show. dancing like a fool, wearing the slutties clothes but snubbing all the boys. "sex doesn't exist in a vacuum." making signs with danielle before the women's studies conference of 97. "it's not like there are dominatrixes teaching classes here. oh yeah, um, well, um...safe sane & consensual s&m. sex toys. lesbians! omigod, fire the president! whatever."

all the more reason to attend suny-new paltz.

but seriously: those were the days. the wild days and now here i am, working at a corporate library, being dangerous by wearing sneakers, researching goldman sachs and reading about people who are worth $100 million when me, i'm wearing hand-me-downs and old clothes. i could wear something nicer, but...i want to be free.

thinking of applying for a writing retreat..i'd have to put my stuff in storage for a few months, stuff luna up in massachussets...wait no, trev is never there anyway. damn, my poor kitty. maybe she can come to the azores.

god, i just want to escape sometimes.

but i'm remembering wearing way too much lipstick and throwing glitter and running around and take back the night and outscreaming the screamers, and where am i? why did i do my mfa? i cannot forget.

don't worry i'm just listening to old cds, bringing me back in time, trying to get to my roots and realize where i've been and where i'm going...

bratmobile...
Cherry Bomb Lyrics
Can't stay at home, can't stay at schoolOld folks say, ya poor little foolDown the street I'm the girl next doorI'm the fox you've been waiting for Hello Daddy, hello MomI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHello world I'm your wild girlI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombStone age love and strange sounds tooCome on baby let me get to youBad nights cause'n teenage bluesGet down ladies you've got nothing to lose Hello Daddy, hello MomI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHello world I'm your wild girlI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHello Daddy, hello MomI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHello world I'm your wild girlI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHey straight girl what's your styleYour daddy's dreams don't make you smileI'll give ya something to live forHave you, grab you 'til you're sore Hello Daddy, hello MomI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bombHello world I'm your wild girlI'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb